McBloggenstein officially endorses this new flavored infant formula:
Get ’em started early!
From the makers of Bacon Salt.
This has got to be an April fool’s joke, right?
As many of you know, we’re huge bacon lovers here at J&D’s. We now make Bacon Salt, Baconnaise and Bacon Lip Balm. That last one seemed like a stretch at first, but now that bacon has successfully made the jump from food to personal care, we’re pushing it even further.
With that said, we’re happy to introduce our newest product, baconlube™. It’s not for sale yet, but we’re looking for early product testers to put our “Everything should taste like bacon” tagline to the test.
I won’t make this an official “Ode to Bacon”, because I’m suspicious. We’ll see if it’s still there tomorrow.
It was an April Fool’s joke. Check it out…
Don’t worry, I’m not going to spell it out quite like that. You’re safe (for now).
My new favorite website that both fascinates me and gives my gag reflex a good workout is here…
It’s like my site’s cousin!
whyareyousofat.wordpress.com – meet – thisiswhyyourefat.com
Holy Jeezus is there some scary stuff on this site! You know, it takes the kind of people that have the ingenuity and the bravery to make these kinds of things to work with the space program… or to work as a carnie at the state fair, I’m not sure. You’ve gotta hand it to them for being original, I guess.
Let’s look at some of my fav’s:
“Giant burger between two large meat pizzas, eggs, bacon, colby and pepper jack cheese.”
I seriously can’t stop laughing when I look at this pizza-burger. I wish I knew how much something like this costs. Look how much ground beef is in there!!
Another good pizza…
“A pizza with a hot dog wrapped in bacon pigs in a blanket crust. The center is filled with italian sausage, ham, bacon, bacon bits, sliced tomato, mushroom, onion, peppers, garlic chips, basil, black pepper and tomato sauce. It can also be flavored with maple syrup and ketchup.”
Supposedly this thing is sold by Pizza Hut in Japan. Seems weird they wouldn’t start this bad boy out in Mississippi.
Next we have…
“A regular ham and cheese sandwich but topped with 11 sunny-side up egg yolks.”
They couldn’t just leave a ham sandwich well enough alone, could they? This may be the closest thing to a manageable meal for a single person on that website, and yet look at my estimates for this sandwich:
One last one…
I love that someone took the time to make this leaning tower of creamy centuple stuffed oreo goodness.
I wonder if they threw away all of the cookie parts in lue of enjoying their unadulterated masterpiece.
I could imagine crushing them all up, mixing the crumbs with a bit of butter, and pressing them into a pie pan to bake. Do that twice and you’ve got your top and bottom to a GIANT oreo!
None of this tall and skinny crap.
(I just realized I’m starting to think like them. I’m scared.)
Fat people love bacon!
This is the eighth part in a series dedicated to fat people’s love for bacon. At least once a week Whenever I get around to it, I will post either someones odd use of it in a food dish, or just a new and inventive way to bring bacon to our palates.
In this edition…
Mike J. Nelson, the face of the Mystery Science Theatre 3000 series (I loved it), IS EATING ONLY BACON FOR A MONTH!!!
Either because of a bet, or because he wants to prove his manhood, the only food he will consume will be bacon for the entire month of February.
“In other words “American bacon”. No “Canadian bacon”, which is really just lunchmeat. No pork chops. No turkey bacon. No “tofacon” or any such horror. Just bacon.
No condiments allowed. No syrups, or hot sauces, or pureed vegetables in the form of ketchup. No sauces at all. Just nature’s finest bacon, all by its dignified self.”
His beverage allowance:
“I am making allowances for the following beverages: beer, wine, martinis and water. No juices, no V8, nothing that could be construed as “healthy”.
HAHA! This gets better and better! I seriously wish I had thought of this a few years ago.
He releases his stats at day one:
“…in the interest of advancing the bacon arts I am willing to release these few vitals: my waist size is 33/34. My blood pressure is pretty consistently 117/65. My weight hovers around 190. I’m 6′2″. I willing to bet you my weight will not change (may lose a little, actually) my blood pressure will probably drop a little, and I won’t get any taller.”
I recon he will most definitely lose weight… Right before he slips into a coma.
You can read all of Mike’s posts regarding his bacon journey on his blog, under the tag “Month o’ Bacon”. I find myself dissapointed at his bacon diet updates, however. They are not very detailed at all, and he hasn’t once described how he feels eating only fatty, salty meat! It makes me question his truthfulness. I mean, considering how this guy felt in Ode to Bacon: Part 3 after having one bacon sandwich, I think our favorite bad movie commentator would at least say something!
To this, though, he has this to say:
“As it is, I am a fairly committed carnivore and haven’t the slightest doubt that I can do it without difficulty, but I can understand if you’re dubious about my success. Rest assured that I would never sully the good name of bacon by cheating.”
In response to the idea that eating only bacon may harm him:
…bacon is wonderful and would never hurt you. Bacon loves you.”
Of course he picked February, the shortest month of the year. Wuss.
[via Disease Proof]
Upon checking back to Mike’s blog to see how his month o’ bacon finished up…
…he reveals that he didn’t really eat only bacon for a month. SURPRISE! Did I call this or what?
Yes, I really, really did eat nothing but bacon for a few days short of an entire month. Once the whole thing started to seem sort of, I don’t know, silly – is that the word I’m looking for? – and my family was growing increasingly frustrated with the stunt, […] Despite my earlier non-apology apology, I do ask your bacony, smoky, forgiveness.
Fat people love bacon!
This is the sixth part in a series dedicated to fat people’s love for bacon. At least once a week Whenever I get around to it, I will post either someones odd use of it in a food dish, or just a new and inventive way to bring bacon to our palates.
Perhaps this post would be better labeled: Ode to Bacon Salt.
Part 5 introduced us to Bacon Salt, and I wanted to first let you know that I purchased it and tried it! I’ll have to say that it’s not bad! As evidence on their blog, I can imagine quite a few uses for this bacon fairy dust.
However, nothing could have prepared me for the next additions to the Bacon Salt empire. The empire that will soon take over the sodium laden, MSG filled flavoring market.
Baconnaise! Just like the salt, this one is also vegetarian and kosher. Is it possible to have an erection and a heart attack at the same time? I can’t wait.
Yup, that’s no joke.
I wonder if more men or women would buy this one? Perhaps more women would buy it so as to be more kissable to cured meat loving males… That reminds me of this commercial:
I would not be surprised if the B-Salt geniuses come out with a bacon perfume very soon.
OH! One more thing… Don’t forget the holidays are coming up. It’s time to start gift shopping!