Archive for the ‘Food Products’ Category

McBloggenstein officially endorses this new flavored infant formula:

Get ’em started early!

From the makers of Bacon Salt.

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I'm sure McD's was part of his diet of moderation

A friend pointed this out to me the other day…

McDonald’s website has some pretty interesting (and predictable) frequently asked questions and answers.

Here’s my favorite:


Frequently Asked Questions About McDonald’s USA Food & Nutrition

Q: Can McDonald’s food be part of a healthy, balanced diet?

A: Yes. Many nutrition professionals agree that McDonald’s food can be part of a healthy eating style based on the sound nutrition principles of balance, variety and moderation. One key to a healthy diet is to moderate, not eliminate, favorite foods because eliminating foods is rarely successful long term. In fact, the American Dietetic Association says all foods can fit into a healthy diet and what’s most important is eating a balanced diet over time, rather than focusing on any one food or meal.

McDonald’s varied menu and range of serving sizes make it easy to fit our food into a balanced diet and to create a range of meal combinations that fall within recommended guidelines for calories, fat and other nutrients.

McDonald’s would no sooner consult “nutrition professionals” (whatever the hell that means) than they would hire professional writers to answer questions like this in such a vague and McDonald’s-centric point of view.  OF COURSE the answer is yes.  Was there any doubt?

OF COURSE they wouldn’t condone eliminating anything from ones diet.  Why would they?  If anyone were to do such a thing, I wouldn’t be surprised if fast food was the first thing to go!  As I’ve said before, anyone who argues that moderation is a better choice than elimination of something that many would agree is not the best choice is only doing so because they can’t let go of their cravings.

As for the menu selections mentioned that fit into a balanced diet, take a look at their meal suggestions that:

…many nutrition professionals agree can be part of a healthy diet based on the sound nutrition principles of balance, variety and moderation.

Notice that most of the meal suggestions feature either a small juice, milk, or diet soda as the beverage.  Also, you won’t find a quarter pounder on there anywhere…  or a big mac, or a bacon cheeseburger (the items in which they spend most of their advertising on).  Fries are mentioned once, as a small size, with the following asterisk: 

*To reduce sodium, French fries may be ordered without added salt

I would love to hear of someone trying that while in the drive-through.

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Don’t worry, I’m not going to spell it out quite like that.  You’re safe (for now).

My new favorite website that both fascinates me and gives my gag reflex a good workout is here…

This is why you're fat

This is why you’re fat: Where dreams become heart attacks

It’s like my site’s cousin!

whyareyousofat.wordpress.com  –  meet  –  thisiswhyyourefat.com

Holy Jeezus is there some scary stuff on this site!  You know, it takes the kind of people that have the ingenuity and the bravery to make these kinds of things to work with the space program…  or to work as a carnie at the state fair, I’m not sure.   You’ve gotta hand it to them for being original, I guess.

Let’s look at some of my fav’s:


“Giant burger between two large meat pizzas, eggs, bacon, colby and pepper jack cheese.”

I seriously can’t stop laughing when I look at this pizza-burger.  I wish I knew how much something like this costs.  Look how much ground beef is in there!!


Another good pizza…


“A pizza with a hot dog wrapped in bacon pigs in a blanket crust. The center is filled with italian sausage, ham, bacon, bacon bits, sliced tomato, mushroom, onion, peppers, garlic chips, basil, black pepper and tomato sauce. It can also be flavored with maple syrup and ketchup.”

Supposedly this thing is sold by Pizza Hut in Japan.  Seems weird they wouldn’t start this bad boy out in Mississippi.


Next we have…


“A regular ham and cheese sandwich but topped with 11 sunny-side up egg yolks.”

They couldn’t just leave a ham sandwich well enough alone, could they?  This may be the closest thing to a manageable meal for a single person on that website, and yet look at my estimates for this sandwich:

  1. 110 grams Fat
  2. 32 grams Saturated Fat
  3. 825% daily value for cholesterol


One last one…


I love that someone took the time to make this leaning tower of creamy centuple stuffed oreo goodness.

I wonder if they threw away all of the cookie parts in lue of enjoying their unadulterated masterpiece. 

I could imagine crushing them all up, mixing the crumbs with a bit of butter, and pressing them into a pie pan to bake.  Do that twice and you’ve got your top and bottom to a GIANT oreo!

None of this tall and skinny crap.

(I just realized I’m starting to think like them.  I’m scared.)

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I don’t mean to keep picking on McDonald’s, but they just make it so darn easy!

[via YAHOO! news]

McDonald’s posts sizzling 80% profit rise in 2008

US fast-food giant McDonald’s said Monday its 2008 net profit soared 80 percent from a year [ago], lifted by growing demand from consumers seeking low-cost meals in a deepening global recession.

Net profit for the full year totaled 4.3 billion dollars, compared with 2.3 billion in 2007, the Oak Brook, Illinois-based company said in a statement.

The robust annual results came despite a sharp 23 percent decline in fourth-quarter net profit to 985 million dollars, from 1.273 billion in the 2007 fourth quarter.

WHOA!  So, even though 4th quarter profits were way lower than the previous year, the overall yearly profits were still 80% higher!!  I guess the last time I talked about McD’s profits proved to be part of the best year yet for the chain.

Realize, though, that their PROFITS rose 80%.  This includes an average global sales increase of 6.9%, with the biggest increase in the asian market.  What does this tell us?  How can a respectable 6.9% sales increase equate to an 80% increase in profits?  Well, I’m no business man, so I could be missing some not so obvious reasons here, but I would guess that some reasons could be:

  1. Their food is being made cheaper, with cheaper labor.
  2. Customers are buying the menu items that have a larger profit margin.
  3. Their number of locations are increasing fast enough to boost their bottom line heavily.

Like I said, I’m sure there are other reasons their profits rose so much, but it is interesting that they seem to be recession proof, especially with energy costs being so high the past year.

Like I’ve said before, I don’t place any blame on the junk food providers…  I only blame people that choose to eat this crap regularly, and then don’t understand why they’re fat or unhealthy.  

They like to make excuses that it’s easier to eat fast food, or it’s cheaper than cooking real food.  While it’s certainly easier, I call BS on any other excuse.

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I’ve seen this floating around the net lately, but I didn’t want to assume that you haven’t seen it (and it’s a must see).



I love the comparison between the several week old cut up potato and the 4-year old McDonald’s fry.  It reminds me of my Burger King apple fry experiment!

I imagine the preservation has something to do with the oil and salt that is embedded in the fries and the “meat”.  But the bread not getting moldy?  That was the most amazing part for me.

I really can’t imagine thinking this food is apetizing after watching this.  I just wouldn’t be able to eat it without wondering what whatever it is that is preserving it is going to do in my belly.

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Fat people love bacon!

This is the sixth part in a series dedicated to fat people’s love for bacon.  At least once a week  Whenever I get around to it, I will post either someones odd use of it in a food dish, or just a new and inventive way to bring bacon to our palates.

Perhaps this post would be better labeled:  Ode to Bacon Salt.

Part 5 introduced us to Bacon Salt, and I wanted to first let you know that I purchased it and tried it!  I’ll have to say that it’s not bad!  As evidence on their blog, I can imagine quite a few uses for this bacon fairy dust.  

However, nothing could have prepared me for the next additions to the Bacon Salt empire.  The empire that will soon take over the sodium laden, MSG filled flavoring market.

Addition #1:


Baconnaise!  Just like the salt, this one is also vegetarian and kosher.  Is it possible to have an erection and a heart attack at the same time?  I can’t wait.

Addition #2:


Yup, that’s no joke.

I wonder if more men or women would buy this one?  Perhaps more women would buy it so as to be more kissable to cured meat loving males…  That reminds me of this commercial:


I would not be surprised if the B-Salt geniuses come out with a bacon perfume very soon.  

OH!  One more thing…  Don’t forget the holidays are coming up.  It’s time to start gift shopping!


santahats1 kosherbacon3

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[via serious eats]

I wish I wish I wish I knew what the ingredients are, because there MUST be something odd in these to make them stay solid enough to be stable for handling.  Alas, the product’s website did not provide us with the info.

I begged and pleaded that there existed a yin to this yang.

I found a photo, but I could not find any info that a current product exists that puts jelly into convenient unnatural slice form.

Unfortunately, these jems seem to be discontinued.

Now, the peanut butter slices sure save us some time, and if only they were still around, these P.J. slices would save us even MORE time when making a pb&j sandwich…

…but i’m not satisfied. 


If only…       


there existed a product that made life EVEN EASIER FOR US LAZY FUCKERS!!

Oh wait, there is.


Why do people keep messing with the PB&J?

I see products like these as a sign that our species will come to an end one day.  When people try to make the easiest food item even easier, there’s something wrong.

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