Fat people love bacon!
This is the eighth part in a series dedicated to fat people’s love for bacon. At least once a week Whenever I get around to it, I will post either someones odd use of it in a food dish, or just a new and inventive way to bring bacon to our palates.
In this edition…
…a man will DIE.
Mike J. Nelson, the face of the Mystery Science Theatre 3000 series (I loved it), IS EATING ONLY BACON FOR A MONTH!!!
Either because of a bet, or because he wants to prove his manhood, the only food he will consume will be bacon for the entire month of February.
“In other words “American bacon”. No “Canadian bacon”, which is really just lunchmeat. No pork chops. No turkey bacon. No “tofacon” or any such horror. Just bacon.
No condiments allowed. No syrups, or hot sauces, or pureed vegetables in the form of ketchup. No sauces at all. Just nature’s finest bacon, all by its dignified self.”
His beverage allowance:
“I am making allowances for the following beverages: beer, wine, martinis and water. No juices, no V8, nothing that could be construed as “healthy”.
HAHA! This gets better and better! I seriously wish I had thought of this a few years ago.
He releases his stats at day one:
“…in the interest of advancing the bacon arts I am willing to release these few vitals: my waist size is 33/34. My blood pressure is pretty consistently 117/65. My weight hovers around 190. I’m 6′2″. I willing to bet you my weight will not change (may lose a little, actually) my blood pressure will probably drop a little, and I won’t get any taller.”
I recon he will most definitely lose weight… Right before he slips into a coma.
You can read all of Mike’s posts regarding his bacon journey on his blog, under the tag “Month o’ Bacon”. I find myself dissapointed at his bacon diet updates, however. They are not very detailed at all, and he hasn’t once described how he feels eating only fatty, salty meat! It makes me question his truthfulness. I mean, considering how this guy felt in Ode to Bacon: Part 3 after having one bacon sandwich, I think our favorite bad movie commentator would at least say something!
To this, though, he has this to say:
“As it is, I am a fairly committed carnivore and haven’t the slightest doubt that I can do it without difficulty, but I can understand if you’re dubious about my success. Rest assured that I would never sully the good name of bacon by cheating.”
In response to the idea that eating only bacon may harm him:
…bacon is wonderful and would never hurt you. Bacon loves you.”
Of course he picked February, the shortest month of the year. Wuss.
[via Disease Proof]
Upon checking back to Mike’s blog to see how his month o’ bacon finished up…
…he reveals that he didn’t really eat only bacon for a month. SURPRISE! Did I call this or what?
Yes, I really, really did eat nothing but bacon for a few days short of an entire month. Once the whole thing started to seem sort of, I don’t know, silly – is that the word I’m looking for? – and my family was growing increasingly frustrated with the stunt, […] Despite my earlier non-apology apology, I do ask your bacony, smoky, forgiveness.