Just like Uncrustables, these babies are found in the UBER-Convenience frozen foods aisle.
You know… the aisle where you go when you’ve decided that you never want to cook another healthy meal or snack for yourself ever again. The ease and appeal of those brightly colored and well marketed boxes in the freezer are so great to you that you’re willing to ignore the numerous signs on the nutrition label and ingredients list that tell you you’re going to die a slow and chubby death.
How’d they come up with that? Was there some guy in a marketing meeting like:
Hey, I gottan idea! How ’bout we fill a pop-tart with nasty meat? And then you cook it in a sleeve thing…”
There is the vegetarian Hot Pocket for those of us that don’t want to eat meat, but still would like diarrhea.
It should just come with a roll of toilet paper… DIARRHEA POCKET!!
Ok, lets have some fun.
Let’s sugar-coat some turds and see how many different ideas we can come up with…
This is only A FEW OF THEM. I counted 83 on their website. This includes their line of Lean Pockets that have mostly the same “flavors” as the regular line-up.
I even found some pictures of other kinds that weren’t on the website. Perhaps these are ones that no longer make the cut. I guess they couldn’t live up to the high standards of the rest of the pack. Here they are:
Are people THAT starved for time that they substitute these things for real food ? It’s been a few years, but I have eaten them before. I distinctly remember regretting it after about two bites.