Well this is just getting ridiculous.
I must say, probably the only reason I continue to break my rule about not talking about co-workers is because this woman is a temp, so I know I will not be working with her for a lot longer.
To keep updated, you can read up on my last post about her at “More fun Co-Worker Stories!!” Also, keep in mind that the only reason I am choosing to pick on this person in-particular is because she is always talking about trying to lose weight, and trying to be “so good”. But, NO ONE ever sees her doing anything close to this. Not once. Therefore, she is a good example of the kind of overweight people that I talk about with my blog.
In this edition, I will first tell you about a nice little chat I had with her.
Where I work, if you need to work late, the office will pay for your dinner. The restaurant is chosen ahead of time, and there is a $12 limit. The receptionist calls in the order.
I happen to be nearby the order sheet – in which people look at the menu and write down their order – when our lady is deciding on what to get. She is not familiar with this particular restaurant, so she is asking me about certain dishes.
I tell her that I never ate there before I became a vegetarian, so I don’t really have an opinion on those items. This was her response:
Oh, I tried that a few years ago [being a vegetarian], but I gained 100 pounds doing it.”
Whoa. Just hold on there a minute.
Now, I am quite aware of how it is very easy to be a BAD vegetarian. A BAD vegetarian is someone who eats almost nothing but pasta, cheese, bread, and dairy. In other words, they don’t like fruit, and they wouldn’t know what to do with a zucchini if they were standing in their kitchen holding one. To be a good vegetarian, you have to love fruit and vegetables, obviously. And, make sure you know different ways to prepare them, etc… plus all kinds of other important points about proteins, but I won’t get into that.
So, being a bad veg can easily lead to weight gain with the excess carbs, and the lack of fiber can literally lead to several pounds of fecal matter becoming backed up.
But 100 pounds? It’s simply not possible unless her diet was extremely horrible. Instead of being overly flabbergasted in my response, I simply asked “How did that happen?” Her reply:
Well, I pretty much just ate like a whole pot of pasta a day, and went through like a gallon of ice cream a… week.”
Her reasoning for this is because she doesn’t know how to cook, she says.
Well, of course I think this is insane logic. Even if her diet were extremely limited to pasta, that has nothing to do with a quantity. And of the ice cream: Duh.
Later that day, I manage to hear about her order. I have spies. Actually, I don’t usually even ask about these things, people just tell them to me because they are equally as suprised.
Remember how I said the limit is $12? She ordered $25 worth of food. Now, she says she didn’t realize what the limit was, which I understand because she is a temp. But $25? She mentioned that it was hard to stay under the limit of $12 because that makes it hard to get an appetizer, a meal, and a dessert. Nice, eh?
I found out that she ordered two different dinner plates, and an appetizer, and a dessert. The receptionist told her she had to cut some things, so she just stuck with the apps and dessert. Guess what the appetizer was? A bowl of melted cheese with guacamole and ground beef added, with tortilla chips. The dessert? Fried dough with cinnamon and honey.
It sure is a good thing she stopped being a vegetarian, otherwise she might have exploded!
Now let’s move on to the very next day. Different restaurant, same rules.
She orders a philly cheesesteak sandwich, with extra cheese, and a brownie.
She comes back to the order form later on, and makes that brownie “á-la-mode”, meaning: with a scoop of ice cream on top.
Next day: Philly cheesesteak, fries, bananas-foster á la mode = $16. Over the limit again, I’m afraid.
OK, attempt number two: Philly cheesesteak, fries, ice cream with chocolate syrup = $11.50. Success!!
OH WAIT! Later she finds out, after studying the menu, that appetizers are only half price before 7pm! So, she’s going to change her order in order to accomodate the bananas-foster á la mode that she wanted so badly.
Attempt number three: A bowl of melted cheese w/ sausage, southwest eggrolls (fried), bananas-foster á la mode = $11. Success again!!
Living on a steady diet of complete shit = Priceless.
Tonights order: Two appetizers. First, toasted mozzerella garlic bread. Second, Meatballs topped with marinara sauce and mozzerella cheese, served with toasted garlic bread.
No dessert! She must be on a diet.