the first lack of willpower
Seriously.
Is it gone? Is this idea null and void? Is this word working it’s way out of the English dictionary?
Willpower:
- control of ones impulses and actions; self-control
- the strength of will to carry out ones decisions, wishes, or plans
- the trait of resolutely controlling your own behavior
- the ability to exert ones will over ones actions
- manifests as inner firmness, decisiveness, determination, resolution and persistence
Arguably the biggest hurdle most of us have in our lives, is to overcome a lack of willpower.
The will to do the things we want to do in life… To get that job, to learn that new language, to lose those few pounds, to get to work on time, to make more friends, to not procrastinate, to exercise more, to eat better.
It really is just a matter of wanting it bad enough. Who’s stopping us from doing those things?
Ourselves.
NO ONE ELSE.
I seriously get the feeling that more and more people are considering this philosophy to be unreasonable. The idea that WE are the ones that make things happen for ourselves is flying out the window.
What are some willpower killers?
- Bad habits (learned from laziness, lack of motivation, comfort, fear of change)
- Peer pressure (friends going out for pizza/ice cream)
- Family history (inherited bad habits)
- Societal expectations (if you’re big, other people expect you to like something)
- Negative thoughts (“it’s not worth it… I’m not worth it”)
- Thinking that you can’t do something (even before you try it)
- Going to the grocery store hungry
- Waiting until you are starving to eat (you will crave bad foods)
- Advertisements/Packaging
On this last one, marketers prey on the uninformed consumer. They know how to make things look appealing, and they know how to convince us that we need them.
Most of us don’t take a trip to the grocery store every time we’re going to eat a meal. Perhaps it’s typical to take one or two trips a week? And, you spend maybe 30-45 minutes there? This is the time when willpower comes into play more than any other. In this concentrated amount of time, you are making a lot of your food choices several days in advance. If you usually buy cookies or ice cream, then don’t even go down those aisles. If you avoid having to make the decision (and justifying to yourself why you need it), then you won’t get what you’re trying to avoid.
Eliminating the temptation is the easiest way.
What’s the most stereotypical expression that a ”good” parent says to their child?
You can be whatever you want to be when you grow up.”
This of course is in reference to a persons job, or career, or life’s purpose. However, I believe that this way of thinking can be applied to any aspect of a persons life.
Shouldn’t ones own self be the easiest thing for them to control?
We’re great at controlling things, and some of us try to control other people, but why is it so hard to control ourselves?
This is evidence that we are our own worst enemy.
Here are some examples that we are not able to control our own habits:
- Diets - The fact that people need to “go on a diet”. That concept denotes a temporary change in ones overall habits. Those same habits which got them to be the person they are now… a person that needs to go on a diet. Which therefore means that when the diet is over, or the results are achieved (how often does that happen?), then the previous lifestyle will return.
- Drugs - The weight loss drug industry makes literally billions of dollars off of people’s lack of willpower. Does anyone seem to think that diet pills work? Are drugs the answer? Do drugs erase bad habits? Do drugs make people exercise? Do drugs change poor food choices? The funniest thing is, almost every diet drug product says in fine print, “To be used along with a healthy diet, and regular exercise.”
Uh, Diets? Psshhht… Yeah, they don’t work!”
Oh – Really?
All diets? Let’s crack open the dictionary again.
DIET:
- The usual food and drink of a person or animal.
- A regulated selection of foods, as for medical reasons or cosmetic weight loss.
- Something used, enjoyed, or provided regularly.
- To eat sparingly, for health reasons or to lose weight.
- Food and drink regularly provided or consumed.
- Habitual nourishment.
By these definitions, a person that says that diets don’t work is saying that there is no possible way a person could eat that would result in a loss of excess fat, and better health.
If the meaning of this phrase is that “diets don’t work because you can’t stick to them”, then what is the reason for that? LACK - OF - WILLPOWER.
Uh… Oh, yeah. It’s that simple. Like I can just “will” myself to eat better. Right.”
Yup. It’s your hand putting the food in your mouth.
Skeptics of willpower:
Anyone that thinks that willpower is not enough to make a big change in their life, is guilty of one or both of the following:
- Giving up on themselves
- Always coming up with an excuse as a gut response to any criticism
If you want to eat better, then why don’t you?
I’m not saying it’s easy… but it is simple.
NIKE said it best. Just do it.
Oh, but I…
No.
But I don’t have time…
No.
I don’t know how to cook…
Stop it.
Just…
do it.
I have been doing some research lately on will power in relation to lifestyle choices – obesity, drug and alcohol use and other addictions.
My sources have ranged from unbelievably boring psych textbooks to the latest in “crunchy-granola” self help literature.
While all of these authors approach the topic from a different perspective, they all agree that at some point between “feeling an urge / emotion / thought / impulse” and acting upon it, is our will power.
However strong the desire, we still have the opportunity to choose whether we will or won’t act upon that urge.
Some of us have more will power than others.
And some of us have to deal with physical addictions that have turned our will-powers into won’t-powers.
So, when it comes to being able to Just Do It, we all have to look at ourselves, warts and all and figure out how to regain control over that space between feeling an urge and acting upon it.
There are lots of theories of how to do this.
What works for me may not work for you. But, you owe it to yourself to try.
Another great post Bloggy
Stumbled and reviewed
It may be simple, but you’re right–it’s definitely not easy. I know you said to “stop it” above, but for me, not knowing how to cook things–or maybe it’s less “cooking” and more “preparing meals”–is a hindrance. I went to a farmer’s market last night and got some cool varieties of tomatoes and some green beans. I think I’m going to use a tomato salad recipe I found on the AlmostFit site for some of the tomatoes, but for the rest of them…what should I do with them? Same with the green beans–I can blanch them, but is there anything else I could do? And for either one, that still leaves me with the question–what do I eat them with? They are just side dishes, and I don’t know how to finish the meal.
Farmer’s markets are awesome! All kinds of good looking foods.
Remember that RecipeZaar website I told you about?
I did a search for green beans and tomatoes, there’s 5 or 6 on the first page that look pretty damn good.
As far as them being side dishes, I’m afraid since becoming a vegetarian, I don’t consider anything a side dish. I think it’s limiting.
I like to make mashed sweet potato (excellent because you don’t have to add any butter or salt to make it taste good like a regular potato). Get some bags of frozen edamame, peas, corn, and cans of black eyed peas, and different beans, and you’ve got plenty of things to go with just about anything. All of those can be cooked in some boiling water in less than 5 minutes.
Keep some rotini (spiral) or elbow macaroni pasta along with some olive oil on hand. You can make a pasta salad using a lot of those ingredients I mentioned before.
If you want to make a chicken breast, you can put a frozen or fresh breast in a pot with about a half inch of water, and boil/steam it. Use a little italian seasoning and salt and it’s great. No added fats or oils.
You don’t need to be a chef, and you don’t need to know a lot of tricks to be able to cook healthy food. Just heat up a few things that sound good!
Brit,
You brought up something that really bothers me, you said
“They are just side dishes”.What makes the green beans “just side dishes”? My boyfriend thinks this way too. When he’s hungry I suggest he eat fruit, he says “I need actual food”. He says this as though somehow fruit, and vegetables, are somehow less important than meat. He may be super skinny and 24, but he’s paying for that type of thinking by constantly having health problems.
So remember, the green beans don’t have to be “just a side dish”. Just steam them until they are hot/cooked, but still crunchy. Make some brown rice, remembering to use 2 cups of water per cup of brown rice. You can also grill red potatoes oven. Just clean and cut potatoes, with skin, into 1 inch pieces. Toss with some olive oil, pepper, salt and herbs you lilke. Bake in oven for 45 minutes at 350 degrees; to cut down on the baking time, you can microwave the pieces for a few minutes without the oil and spices, just make sure to check on them in the oven for golden brownness.
Also check out grocery stores for the natural product of your favorite foods or condiments. For instance, Ralphs/Kroger brand makes natural peanut butter and natural ketchup (these come without HFCS). The NATURAL store brands are just as tastey as the regular name brand stuff, better for you and cheaper. You can use the natural ketchup for your oven baked potatoes.
If you really want a “main dish”, try grilling fish or chicken. For the chicken, use chicken tenders (they’re probably the easiest to cook), spice it up with pepper, basil (or any herbs you like, just experiment) and a small amount of salt. Saute in a pan with a little olive oil, 5-6 minutes on each side for a 6 oz cut on medium-high heat (if you need to, check the inside for doneness, tenders are too small for thermometers). Grill most fish with pepper, herbs and some salt until lightly browned and just opaque in the center, 3 to 4 minutes per side on medium-high heat. If you want you can turn up the heat to blacken the chicken or fish.
Here’s a recipe for a non-meat maindish (this is my favorite main dish meat replacer):
BEAN SALAD
1 (14.5 ounce) can black beans
1 (14.5 ounce) can dark red kidney beans
1 (15 ounce) can garbanzo beans
1 (14.5 ounce) can pinto beans
1 (10 ounce) package frozen corn kernels, thawed
1 tablespoon olive oil
1 teaspoon cumin
1-2 tablespoons chili powder
1 teaspoon lime juice
8 ounce homemade/fresh style salsa (you can find in refrigerated section)
1 pinch dried parsley
Pour beans into a colander, and rinse under running water. In a large mixing bowl, toss beans and corn together with oil, cumin, chili powder, lime juice, and salsa. Sprinkle with parsley, cover, and chill for 1 hour.
Good luck!
McB–yeah, I like the farmer’s market in my town. I just discovered it during the summer, and it’s nice to go around and look at everything. (And unfortunately I don’t have much longer, because it only runs until October. :-/) I don’t always buy a lot, but I think that’s because I don’t always know how to cook it or what to do with it. I don’t want to buy lots of veggies and then be like, “What now?”
And I have looked at the RecipeZaar site a couple times, and it does look really interesting. The problem I seem to have a lot is that I will find a good recipe that uses my ingredient, but then I won’t have two or three of the other ingredients the recipe uses. I won’t have spinach, or zucchini, or balsamic vinegar, or lemon juice (I have the little lemon shaped bottle, but not the real stuff), or something else, and when I’m searching for a recipe right before dinner, there’s not really time to go out and buy what I’m missing. I think what I really need help with is how to stock a good pantry. I have potatoes, onions, rice, pasta, etc., but I always seem to be missing something.
Whenever I cook a chicken breast, I just saute it in a pan on the stove with some olive oil. I’ve never boiled or steamed it before. Would you just put the seasonings and chicken directly into the water, and boil until done?
dyeyell–sorry, I didn’t choose the best words to express what I was trying to say. I know veggies and fruit are as important as meat. What I meant was that if I made the tomato salad I was talking about, or cooked the green beans–or even if I did both–in my head, it just…it just seems like I’d need more to make it a meal. It wouldn’t have to be meat, but it seems like something else needs to be added, and I don’t know what. Does that make sense? I think my problem is actually putting meals together. I don’t know what to combine with what.
Oh, I LOVE roasting red potatoes in the oven with olive oil and garlic. Mmmm, so good. You’re making me hungry.
I do saute chicken breasts sometimes. I just usually don’t have them on hand, or if I do, they’re in the freezer, and I have to thaw them out…I think my main problem is in the planning.
Your bean salad sounds good–I’ll have to try that sometime. And here again is my problem putting things together–would you add anything with that to make it a meal, or just eat it by itself?
I like to eat the bean salad by itself as one of my snacks or with roasted potatoes and wild rice. The recipe makes alot, so you can save it in containers for an on the go meal. Beans are a great source of protein and can add variety to a meat based diet. I don’t really like cooked beans and the recipe is great for people who don’t cook.
If you go to a Mexican market or a place like Target, Walmart or even the 99 Cent Store, you can get fresh and dried herbs cheap. Make sure to stock basil, oregano, parsley, chili powder, cumin and anything else you can find. It’s okay to use the lemon and lime juices in the bottle as long as the juice isn’t one of the main ingredients of your dish (like a key lime pie). Herbs and other spices are a great way to add taste to food and avoid using too much salt, but make sure to look at expiration dates and throw out old stuff.
You just have to experiment. Cut up a piece of chicken and try different combinations of spices on each cut piece to find the stuff you like. I’m not a chef, but I do like to experiment. Just have a sandwich as backup for when your cooking goes wrong.
FoodNetwork.com also has tons of professional recipes. I like to check out the comments, because those are the people who try out the recipes and can tell you about substitutions or other ways they cooked something.
I think it is not just a matter of will power, it is also a matter of taking care of ourself and your health, caring about yourself enough to do those things. I believe in some cases is even a matter of self destruction.
But if you are willing, able and think you are worth it, the instant when you decide not to put that piece of food in your mouth, the day to day, that instant when you decide wether you go for it or not, is major. Some times it is just a matter of breaking a habit or having an alternative course of action, such as having a healthy snack on hand.
Great piece McB!
Brit,
As you say, planning seems to be your main problem. You should think about your food choices before you start cooking dinner, especially if you can’t/don’t have a well-stocked pantry. Every week before you go grocery shoppping you should come up with a list of dinners that sound good to you. You should PLAN AHEAD for enough meals until you go grocery shopping again. You can look up the recipe online or in a cook book. This way you will always have all the ingredients you need, and you also do not have the daily hastle of thinking of something to eat every night.
I also find it beneficial to keep a couple cans or frozen bags of my favorite veggies on hand. These veggies I can pretty much combine with ANYTHING and I’ll be happy. Also, it is convenient to have some yummy soups in the cabinets, because some nights planning ahead just does not work.
Hope this helps… and good luck
Great post. It reminds me of one of my favorite quotes,
“Discipline is the bridge between goals and accomplishments”
Your basic premise is wrong. Obesity is choice. It is not lack of will power. That is absurd. Did people suddenly lose will power in the past 30 years? Of course not. Dis American become the fattest nation on earth due to lack of will power? No way! Americans choose gluttony each and every day 365 days a year.
I call myself an advocate for fat acceptance but in reality I am the same as all others who champion the cause of fat acceptance. What we are really doing is promoting and normalizing obesity and gluttony. The difference between me and them is I admit that I am an obesity promoter and a gormandizer.
Anyone can lose weight and keep it off. It is really a matter of won’t. Fat people are not powerless over food or mentally ill. They just find that there is nothing else that trumps food. Food is our God and unlike your God our God is an awesome God. It does not ignore out pleas. It does not judge. It is always there for us. We love it and it loves us unconditionally.
Stop by my blog and see what honest fat acceptance is all about. Give up your self hatred and embrace the food the GLORIOUS FOOOOOOOOD YUM!
Your basic premise is wrong. Obesity is choice. It is not lack of will power. That is absurd. Did people suddenly lose will power in the past 30 years? Of course not. Dis American become the fattest nation on earth due to lack of will power? No way! Americans choose gluttony each and every day 365 days a year.
I call myself an advocate for fat acceptance but in reality I am the same as all others who champion the cause of fat acceptance. What we are really doing is promoting and normalizing obesity and gluttony. The difference between me and them is I admit that I am an obesity promoter and a gormandizer.
Anyone can lose weight and keep it off. It is really a matter of won’t. Fat people are not powerless over food or mentally ill. They just find that there is nothing else that trumps food. Food is our God and unlike your God our God is an awesome God. It does not ignore out pleas. It does not judge. It is always there for us. We love it and it loves us unconditionally.
Stop by my blog and see what honest fat acceptance is all about. Give up your self hatred and embrace the food the GLORIOUS FOOOOOOOOD YUM!
Is there an echo in here?
In all fairness our willpower has never been tested like it is now. For a very long time in human history most people were just trying not to starve and only a few could afford to be fat. Thats why it was looked apon as attractive. Food is EVERYWHERE and easily attainable all year round. I am not saying that people should take no responsibility but I dont think it really falls under willpower so much as common sense. People are lacking in common sense now. Many of us posses a childlike attitude of the gimmies on steroids. You cant stop me from stuffing my face damnit. I guess its some small measure of power in a world where individuals have little. You have power over yourself and thats about it. Im not talking about working for the “man” or government conspiricies but the sheer fact that we live together by the billions. The individual cannot really have much power in that kind of situation.
***I accidentally posted the above as part of the biggest loser season 6 topic. I wasnt paying attention and I thought the two topics were one.
I think one of the significant obstacles to choosing healthy foods over bad ones is time. When people are rushed, get home at 8 o’clock in the evening after working/errands/kids activities/whatever, it’s really hard to try to pull together a decent meal. The best thing is of course, to plan ahead. I found a cookbook years ago called “Cook Now, Eat Later”, (or something like that. I loaned it to someone and of course never saw it again) and they were all recipes that you largely prepare well in advance, freeze, and then leave the last step or two until you’re ready to cook it to eat, thereby avoiding the dreaded “leftover syndrome”.
I don’t quite get the rationale for promoting obesity and gluttony. There are too many other good things in life to experience that being obese will prevent.
I would have to say that NOTHING tastes as good as being thin feels.
Except maybe strawberries.
I loved that last thing you said, DD.
“I would have to say that NOTHING tastes as good as being thin feels”.
Here’s a link to that book you mentioned. It sounds interesting! Thanks.
Interesting, that’s not actually the book I had, but it does sound worth checking out!
The one I had (I checked online) was “Cook Now, Serve Later” put out by Reader’s Digest books. It’s apparently out of print now, which is too bad, but I bet you could find used copies online (www.powells.com is a great resource for used books). I may have to hunt up another copy for myself.
Unfortunately if you read any literature by dawkins and other popular scientists, most of them vehemently disagree that people have free will. In other words people will do what they will do is built into the physical laws of the universe, think about all the people who don’t care about being fat or doing anything about it who’s minds be changed by your blog.
Either the scientists are wrong are you are.
Willpower only takes you so far. If discipline is the bridge, then thinking and planning ahead is what designs it.
If you think you’re going into a situation where you’re likely to fail your diet- don’t go there. You wouldn’t want an alcoholic going a kegger for the same reason.
There are stores ( and sections of the grocery store) that I don’t have any business in, and may never will- I avoid them.
If i’m going someplace where I doubt there will be anything compliant with my diet, I bring my own.
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This article is so full of misinformation.
The MYTH of willpower is discussed indetail on my blog.
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