My First Real Hate Mail: It’s About Time

What’s the deal?  I’ve been providing some intense “tough love” for about 4 months now, and I only now get my first real hate mail!

Oh, what a good one it is, though.  I suppose it’s made up for lost time.

Here it is, in all it’s glory, with my responses in bold.  Beware, it is EXTREMELY long.

Note all of the mis-quotes, assumptions, and psychoanalyzing.

Here we go…

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First off, let me start out with that I appreciate the fact that you’re not politically correct. Neither am I. Words don’t scare me. Some mentalities do, however. Yes, I am fat. I’m 80 lbs overweight. So, there you go!

• Right off the bat, my subtitle prophecy fulfills itself.

You have yet to put anything new on the table re: fat people. You fat-o-phobics ALL repeat the same rhetoric and sound like a broken record. You keep saying that we make excuses, look for sympathy, need your help (wtf? lol), don’t know how we got this way, and if you get mad, you’re fat too bla bla bla…..

• I’ve never said that anyone needs MY help inparticular.  I have said that I don’t understand why people that complain about their situation don’t take advantage of help and motivation that is available.  If you are fat and happy, and don’t complain, then I have absolutely NO problem with that.

I really cannot say that I apologize that we fat people are inconveniencing you and “giving you the shivers”. We aren’t pleasant to look at, are we? You need to get over this at some point in your life and move on, really.

• Why do I need to get over it?  Because fat people aren’t going away?  I would agree with that, but there is nothing for me to “get over”.  This is MY blog that I started for reasons I’ve stated clearly more than once.  If you would like to comment on any issues that I have addressed in any of my posts, then please feel free.  If you don’t like the main topic of my blog, then stop wasting your time reading it.  In other words: “Get over it”.

My guess is that you are anal-retentive and overly self-conscious about your own weight that when you see a fat person eating a twinkie, you get jealous because they don’t care as much as you do about what people think of them. I know it doesn’t make sense to get jealous, but you do. It’s human nature. You’re jealous of the freedom the fat person has as you are so afraid to gain weight because the only way you can get attention from others is by being thin. I notice this trend with a lot of fat-o-phobics. Those obsessed with being thin and good looking tend to hate fat people because they (the thin ones) want to eat whatever and whenever they want too! And it pisses you people off because you depend so heavily on what others think of you – on a clinical level more than the average person! I mean, who else but an insecure person, would devote an entire blog to bashing fat people? Think about it. You are more transparent than you think.

• You gotta love the constant need to psychoanalyze those you don’t understand.  Well, i’m sorry but you are wrong on all accounts.  I don’t obsess about being thin at all.  I simply strive to be fit and healthy, and I don’t understand why everyone doesn’t do the same.  I want to live to be 110 and feel great and have energy until the day I die. 
• You believe that because I am so scared to be fat, that I am jealous that fat people can eat anything they want?  The truth is, I do eat everything I want.  I just don’t WANT to eat junk food!  There was a time when I ate it more than I do now, but then I realized how bad it was for me.  After that point, it didn’t even sound, look, or taste good to me anymore.  I admit to eating unhealthy at times, but I usually regret it.  It’s an odd thing that once you no longer eat mostly crap, when you do you can really feel it’s affect on how you feel.  It makes you realize that when you feel like that all the time, you don’t know the difference.  It’s a feeling of malaise that I think most people experience constantly, without realizing it.
• Why would I be jealous of the “freedom” a fat person has?  This is an obvious place where you and I view life differently.  I don’t see fat people as free.  I see them as having more occurrences of chronic pains and illnesses.  I see them as being shackled by their fat.

I guess to some extent we all have this syndrome where we cannot understand why others are different from us. I cannot understand why people tattoo and pierce their bodies. But I figure – that’s them and to each their own – even though they’re not easy for me to look at. Assholes are hard to look at too. But I’d rather be fat than an asshole. That’s just me, though.

I see part of your mission is to get them to lose weight? Are you doing this because you SINCERELY care about their well-beings? Or… are you doing this so that when you leave your house, you don’t have to worry any longer about seeing so many fat people in “your world”? Do you realize that a lot of fat people stay indoors because of dicks like you?

Newsflash: It’s NOT your world. It’s ours. Celebrate the differences!

• Are you asking me to celebrate that people are fat?  You are over-simplifying fat people as simply having an appearance that is different than other people.  It is much more complex than that, and I use this blog as a way to discuss those complexities.  If you are implying that being fat or skinny is the same as being black or white, then read my post: FAT is the new Black! 
• I do realize that fat people stay indoors because of dicks like me.  For some of those people, maybe that is why they are fat.  I know it’s the “chicken or the egg” with that one, but what possibly started first in those cases was a mild depression that translated into a general social anxiety that caused them to go outside less, get less exercise, eat more comfort food, get more depressed because they are fat, then blame others because they think everyone is staring at them and causing their depression.  Aw shucks… there I go analyzing other people.     

I seriously doubt you give a shit about a stranger’s health. Why would a stranger be concerned about someone’s health or happiness? I don’t like dildos like you wandering about and staring at us all the time. And if I could rid people of your rank off the planet, I would. We all know that if you could get away with it, you would shoot fat people one by one. We can all admit to that. I’d shoot you too – just because you’re an intolerant douche.

• Why would a stranger be concerned about someone’s health or happiness?  Have you ever heard of doctors, nutritionists, personal trainers, physical trainers, psychologists, psychiatrists, counselors, scientists, teachers, childcare workers, social workers, peace corp workers, after school mentors, big brothers big sisters, human/civil rights workers, volunteers, foster care providers, adopters, Angelina Jolie?
• Choosing to write about the issues that I have with certain fellow human beings is one thing…  erupting in violence and shooting people is another.  That statement was absolutely absurd.  With my blog, I am not targeting any one person specifically.  WordPress has allowed me to write my thoughts and let other people read them.  By specifically writing me an email and calling me names, you are the one being an intolerant douche.  Do you scour the internet and spend hours writing to websites you don’t agree with that they should shut up and stop what they are doing?

You say fat people can (and you underline) “always” do something about their problem. I do understand that you are talking about the “over-eaters”. Ok. Fine. But why would you care about someone’s eating habits? I guess I’m trying to understand why you hate fat people so much – so much to dedicate an entire blog about them?

• I have NEVER said I hate fat people.  To answer why I care about other peoples habits enough to dedicate an entire blog about them, read my Fat Mission page, rinse, and repeat, until you get it. 

I hate to break the news to you, but it’s way more than 10% that cannot control their “fat destination”. I am one of them. I have Cushings Disease. Like Thyroid Disease, it’s supposed to be about “10 % or less” of the population that gets this. That’s incorrect. It’s 10% or less of the population that DOESN’T GO MISDIAGNOSED. This is the same with any glandular disease (hereditary or not). You of all people know that with being fat, there is a stigma (a negative one, of course). Well, guess what? Most doctors out there think like you. With that said, it takes between 5-25 years to get diagnosed for Cushings Disease and some people die before their even diagnosed! Most doctors just tell all fat patients to diet and exercise and quickly dismiss them. THAT IS WHY SO FEW ARE PROPERLY DIAGNOSED, YOU NUMSKULL! To be fair, I should be about 20-30 lbs overweight because I don’t always eat right, but the 80 lbs I am overweight (or FAT) is due to excess hormone cortisol that is being secreted in my body. 

• I am sorry that you have Cushings Disease.  I am totally open to the idea that glandular diseases often go misdiagnosed.  However, I am not open to the idea that those diseases that are genetic in origin have increased over 300% in the past 40 years, because that is how much obesity rates have increased.  Even more so for children in particular.  I am also open to the idea that a large change in lifestyle of humans in recent decades may influence whether we are more susceptible to these diseases.  More specifically, modern medicine’s use of steroid hormones to treat many problems, which happens to be the number one reason of why a person’s cortisol levels can be produced in excess, causing Cushings like symptoms, including weight gain.  
• By you making this point, and by your logic, you are saying that before the “obesity epidemic”, most glandular diseases such as Cushings were PROPERLY diagnosed and successfully treated at all points in history until recently, when suddenly doctors began to misdiagnose these diseases and allow their victims to suffer the consequences, including getting fat. 
• That is of course false.  I am not saying that the rates of these disease may not be increasing.  That is very possible.  But rather than believe that there is a big change happening in our DNA that would leave us hopelessly more susceptible to disease, I would first attempt to look at all environmental and lifestyle factors.

So, no, there’s a MUCH higher percentage of fat people out there that surpass the “rare 10%” you claim to be out of their control. Unless, you medically and psychologically examine every fat person you encounter, how the heck would you know their story? No. Just because you see a fat lady eating two big macs? Do you know WHY she’s doing it? Do you know why people are addicted to alcohol, cigarettes, drugs, sex, criminal acts, etc….? Yes, there’s a reason for all this. These are choices, yet people don’t know why they make these choices!! Do you know why you’re an asshole? Probably not.

• That was a wonderful collection of nonsensical questions.  You’re right, though.  Unless every fat person is examined, we don’t know their story.  But that statement serves both sides of this argument.  That statement is how I argue that it is ridiculous that every other fat person will tell you the reason they are fat is because of their genes, or their thyroid.  How would they know this?  They don’t know, because very few that claim that as the cause of their condition have actually been to an endocrinologist to address their specific problem.  So where do they pull that theory from?  Their ASS!  If your theory that most fat people go misdiagnosed for various glandular conditions is true, that is still not a good reason to blindly claim that as the root of ones problem. 

Where do you get or imply that fat people are happy? After reading this, how could you think their life is “so easy”? Do they want sympathy for this? Fuck no!! Asking assholes to STFU is not the same thing as asking for sympathy. I know you won’t STFU but just because we fat people don’t like being shit on, again, doesn’t mean we want you to pay any homage to us. What part of that don’t you understand?

• I don’t understand that whole paragraph, actually.  When did I say they are happy?  Or that their life is “so easy”?  You might be getting the recent “fat-o-phob” blogs you’ve read confused…  and then decided to take it all out on me.

Some people are nervous eaters or eat their problems away. Boo hoo, right? Well, guess what? While that IS a choice, so are the many other things people do to cope with stress. Any act-out is self-destructive. That’s the way some fat people get through life. And many of them don’t give a shit if they die. Yes. That’s a fact. Why on earth you confuse these people with being happy is beyond me and more confusing than your confusion with them. The reason fat people make you confused is because you believe in over simplified and one-dimensional chiches as an answer to all your questions rather than facts! There’s a link between depression and over-eating. Some fattening foods contain chemicals that help a person’s brain secrete serotonin that aid those who are depressed. Fat people don’t know why their attracted to fatty foods, of course, but that’s the reason why. More on this can be found here:

http://virgomonkey.wordpress.com/2008/04/18/obesity-in-america/

• You like that word “fact” don’t you?  The problem is, my blog is not over-simplified and one dimensional, you are just reading it as such.  You seem to not be able to get past the “fact” that I choose to write about this topic, so everything you’ve read on my blog is filtered through your mind as pure “fat-o-phobic”, and you are ignoring the numerous topics I have tried to cover in my exploration as to why so many fat people complain about their situation, claim they can do nothing about it, and yet haven’t even tried anything.  I mean REALLY tried. 
• But, you’re right.  One reason is because some of them have self-destructive tendencies, and deal with stress by eating junk.  Why are you arguing that with me?  That is a case where becoming fat is a result of a behavioral problem, which if they don’t like being fat, they should look into the causes, and attempt to rectify them.

You are simply ignorant about an issue you declare yourself to be an “expert” on. You find “facts” to be synonymous “making excuses”. So, long as you think that facts = excuses, surely you will never understand a fat person. Should you pay more attention to facts both medical and psychological, this would be inconvenient for you as you WANT to hate fat people. That’s YOUR unique way of coping with stress in your life. We know you are no more happy than we are. Knowing the facts would take that pleasure away from you and you’d no longer have a scapegoat for your problems.
Some people say it’s genetic to hate fat people. So, there’s one for you!

• Haha…  When did I declare myself an “expert”?  If I implied that, then I was joking, and you have no sense of humor.  Just so you know, using “quotes” like you just did implies that I said or wrote that word specifically.  I’m pretty sure I have never written that word referring to myself.  If I was an “expert” on this subject, I would not have a shitty blog.  I would be publishing books and articles, and speaking at shitty conferences.
• Facts Facts Facts Facts Facts Facts Facts Facts Facts Facts Facts Facts Facts Facts Facts Facts Facts Facts Facts Facts Facts Facts Facts Facts Facts Facts Facts Facts Facts Facts Facts Facts Facts Facts Facts Facts.  In your face!
• So…  I don’t know “the facts”?  But you do?  I find it hard to believe that you would take the time to write this very long email to me, talk at length about various things, and then when it comes to accusing me of not knowing “the facts”, that is exactly the only way you refer to them as:  “the facts”.  Why not elaborate for me, what “facts” that I am choosing to ignore because I “hate fat people”.  This seems to be the point in your email where if you KNEW “the facts” that could throw me under the bridge, you would most certainly spell them out for me.  But you don’t.  I wonder why.

How do people “choose” to be fat, anyway? Do people just wake up in the morning and say, “Gee… today I am going to be fat… and yeah!”. Are you out of your mind? Why don’t you leave it to US FATTIES to tell you what it’s like.

• Umm, no.  I don’t think they consciously say to themselves “I want to be fat”.  That’s retarded.  But the ones that got fat by eating horribly and living a sedentary lifestyle, have chosen to live that way.  They wake up and choose to have biscuits, gravy, and bacon.  They choose to take the elevator rather than the stairs up one floor.  They choose to watch 30+ hours of TV a week.  These are all things I’ve covered before.

“It was the junk food”…says the fattest Mexican. Yeah. No kidding? But why do people pack themselves up with junk food? Until you know this, you should stop pretending you do.

• The most simple reason:  It tastes good, and it is quite cheap if you consider cost vs. calories.  Of course there are more reasons, but that one is the most basic and obvious one.
• What am I pretending to know? 

There are cases where fat people make a turn around and find healthier ways to deal with stress and lose a lot of weight. But guess what? They do it when they want to – if they want to – when they’re ready. Not because some turd with a blog says it’s “bad” and makes them “shiver”. 

• Well, that’s fantastic!  And I’m sure that there are many different reasons why people manage to find the inspiration they need to make a positive change.  MANY different reasons because there are MANY different types of people.  It seems that you are simplifying this point, and are speaking on behalf of all fat people, of which I do not believe you are a good representative.

You know, life isn’t easy. And I think it’s fair for me to make the assumption that yours is not easy either. (Truly happy people are non-judgmental) With that said, we have to deal with in life that not everyone is going to please our senses (both intellectually and physically). We are all stuck on this planet together, and at some point in time, you’re going to have to learn to deal with the ugly people you are forced to walk with on the streets as we’re forced to have to listen to your rhetoric out in the great wide open as well. Just like fatties must deal or find healthier ways to cope with their problems, so do you. Telling fat people that (whether directly or not) that they are less than human and shouldn’t exist in your world is far worse than being morbidly obese. Yes, this is what your blog says! 

• No. You are wrong.  I have NEVER EVER said that “they are less than human and shouldn’t exist”.  As I started out this post with, I offer “tough love”.  While I am harsh and somewhat demeaning, my purpose remains to offer motivation for some people.  Mind you, this is most likely a very narrow slice of the population that would react positively to my - on the surface - negative blog.  If they, and you, react purely negatively to my blog, then goodbye.  Take your frustrations out on a cheesecake.  Not me.

My brother died from being too fat (re: heart problems). I never really saw him “happy” growing up. And he never asked for help… not even once. He did life all by himself without you “holding his hand”. And I never really got too upset about his death. Why? Because (no, I don’t believe in God) I know that whatever state of mind or lack of mind he is in now – is much better than his having been alive! So, in a way I feel that he hit the jackpot! I am happy for him.

• I am sorry you lost your brother.  If his life was less than pleasant, then I understand why you would say that you are happy for him that it is over.  Look:  My blog is here for those who need a kick in the pants.  If you don’t believe someone like him would have benefited from this type of in your face writing, then again, I’m not forcing anyone to read my blog.  They can look elsewhere.

If facts don’t scare you, read through all these articles and please challenge them one by one:

http://del.icio.us/ticklebug/cushings (It’s more than two pages of research).

• That’s a bunch of info about Cushings.  So?  We already talked about that.  Why are you bringing it up again?  Do you think that all or most fat people have Cushings disease/syndrome?  I’m sure you don’t, so why would I need to challenge the articles?  Cushings does often cause abnormal weight gain.  What is there to argue with?  When I speak about severely overweight people having poor diets, I am purely talking about that.  If someone happens to have a disease of which a side affect is weight gain, and they have superb diets, then I am not talking about them.  However, if they have the disease and have extremely poor diets, I am sure that their quality of life living with it would be much better if they ate foods that better nurtured their bodies.

And I have no idea where the hell you get that people sympathize with fat people? *yawn* – another tired cliche… Are we living in the same world? Sir, you are sorely confusing sympathy with acceptance. Acceptance meaning you are OK sharing the planet with those different from YOU. It’s starts there and ends there. Just because you don’t see fat people getting stoned in the streets, doesn’t mean that people are “sympathizing” with them. Sure, maybe there exists sympathy toward some. But to debunk the myths that you believe in hon, we fatties don’t ask for or look for sympathy!

• The only time I said that fat people are wanting sympathy is when they utter the statement “I have tried everything” when referring to their attempts at losing weight.  I’m not going to explain that one again, but you can read it again.  Also, again, you are speaking of “acceptance” in a way that suggests that the differences between obese people and fit people are as simple – quite literally – as black and white.  You seem to be the one over-simplifying things.

You are telling people in your blog that you won’t hold their hands and bla bla walk them through life bla bla . Um… hold hands for WHAT exactly? lol —- seriously —- where do you get this crap from? WE DON’T FUCKING NEED YOU (let alone a stranger who pretends to be a doctor), YOUR SYMPATHY, YOU CODDLING OR WHATEVER THE FUCK. Here’s what we need. Accept and deal with us on your turf because it’s ours too. That’s it.

• By saying I’m not going to “hold your hand and walk you through your fat life”, what I mean is this:  There are so many instances in modern society where people are asked to unreasonably accommodate certain members of that society, even if it benefits no one, especially those that ask for it, because in the long run they will not have benefited from anything.
• Just like the “No Child Left Behind” act in the U.S., one way that schools try to make sure that everyone passes the tests, is by lowering the passing grade.  WHO THE HELL does that benefit?  
• Obesity rates are skyrocketing among children, and so are their rates of type 2 diabetes, hypertension, ADD, asthma, and sleep apnea.  Yet, our government does very little to help this problem.  They actually make it worse by forcing schools to close their physical activity programs in leu of achieving a certain performance level on tests, as well as not providing enough funding for schools to provide a healthier alternative to the processed/fried foods they serve in the cafeterias.
• You may not feel as though you want anyone to feel sorry for you, or to accommodate you, but there are plenty of fat people that do.  Have you never heard of people suing restaurants or movie theatres or airlines because they didn’t have chairs that were wide enough for their rotund backsides?  Those people are asking these huge companies to spend a lot of money to accommodate them.  While the number of people that require a seat that is twice as wide as your average seat is rising, I do not believe that is a good reason for these businesses to make such drastic changes.
• So, I pretend to be a doctor?  Damn, you caught me.  All those times I signed my blogs with “McBloggenstein M.D.” were just a lie.   

And despite popular belief, we don’t NEED someone else’s “words of wisdom” from a blog to know that we have a problem. WE’RE FAT BUT WE’RE NOT STUPID. Again, somehow you think this land is yours. No. It’s ours. Deal.
In fact, nobody knows why I am fat. The only people that know I have Cushings is my immediate family and closest friends!! I um don’t walk up to people in the street and ask them to cry me a river boo hoo. Hon, we take care just fine without you. Sympathy, attention, insults, or whatever…….. none of that erm…. makes us thin. We (if we’ve made a conscious decision to get fat) make those decisions (when and how) for ourselves on our dime – on our time.

• I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but you and I both live in a world that is obsessed with image.  If you don’t believe that, then you are in denial.  Sympathy, attention, insults, whatever:  those are all things that can result from the way people view each other.  And guess what?  They can cause people to have a poor self image of themselves, and they will probably either gain weight, or lose weight.  A little fluctuation is just fine, but ballooning up a couple hundred pounds, or becoming anorexic, are both not fine.  I am aware that insults and ridicule can serve to lower a persons self image, but I am attempting to do it in a way that offers an insightful way to look at the problem, along with some humor.  A-g-a-i-n, I’m not forcing anyone to read my blog.  If it’s not your cup of tea, have a nice day.

So, yes, you are bigoted because people don’t “choose” to be fat for a living. But again, I can see why you think that way. It’s a lot easier and it allows you to keep on hating. Busting your myths only crushes your world. The world that allows you to get out all that’s bottled up inside you. It allows you to continue to hold on to YOUR OWN HABIT.
Anyway, fat people are taking over the planet, pal. Get over it and quit your bitching. It’s intolerant assholes in society like you that cause people to do all sorts of crazy shit. And your blog is part of the crazy shit people do when they’ve been dealt a bad hand in life. Just because your problems aren’t visible to the human eye, doesn’t mean they cannot be seen through your writing and behavior. And before you cry that fatties are the only ones “making excuses” or “playing the blame game”, so are you! You are no different from those with substance/food abuse problems. You are addicted to being a hateful jerkoff.  

• Although this last psychoanalyzation is incorrect, it is very well said!  A good conclusion to your dissertation.
• What “myths” of mine have been busted?  What “myths” did you bust with this email?  Because you said oh so specific statements like I ignore “the facts”, does that mean you’ve won an argument?
• Why do you hate science?  (just kidding…  inside joke)
• You may be right, fat people are taking over the planet.  That’s what scares me.  If being intolerant means that I don’t want to allow my world to be overcome by overstuffed sedentary sloths, then hell yes I’m intolerant.  If it means that I will never be accepting of someone just because they are different than me, then no, I am not intolerant. 
• I am very different from the intolerant assholes that decide they need to lynch those that are different than them.  I choose to write about a specific type of people with an open mind, and I am open to discussion.  An intolerant asshole would forgo any intelligent conversation, and immediately judge and prosecute.   
• I have never said that fat people are the only ones “making excuses”.  There are plenty of other types of people out there that have issues and don’t take responsibility.  I’m sure there are other blogs out there that talk about them.  Go find them and email them.

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Exhausted…

 

need

 

bacon.

 

To my readers:  Just because I spent way too much time responding to this person’s email pointing out all of the fallacies in her argument, doesn’t mean you shouldn’t write me if you have an issue or a question.  But if you make a horrible argument and call me a bunch of names, I can’t promise I won’t ridicule you for all the world to see.

P.S.  Does anyone know where I can find a “Hateful Jerk-offs Anonymous” meeting?