Ode to a reader: I Offer Advice

I’m not sure I ever expected a comment like this. 

This person actually sounds like they are asking for advice.  From me.

This is a response to a comment I received on my Fat Mission page from Brit.  The reason I am posting your comment here, Brit, is not to eviscerate you (as you say you are worried of), but because I would love it if my readers and fellow blogging friends would offer some advice in addition to my own. 

Before I respond, I will paste her comment here:

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Brit

I stumbled upon this blog today through the Health blog on the NY Times website, and I will admit that my first reaction was to get pissed off. I’m resisting that reaction, however, so we can have a civil discussion (because those rock).

I am 22 years old, 5′5.5″ tall (I am, really, and I’ll fight you for that half inch :-P), weigh somewhere between 210-220 lbs (although everyone I’ve ever told my weight can’t believe it’s actually that high), and wear a size 18/20. I know I’m overweight–obese, actually, if you go by BMI. I know I should lose weight. I know what I’m supposed to do: “eat right and exercise.”

I know all these things, and yet…it doesn’t happen. Because for me, it’s like it is for smokers. They “just” need to stop smoking, right? It’s easy to say, but SO much harder to put into practice. I know I should “eat right” (which seems to mean SO many things to so many people), and I am trying to eat more vegetables, but I still love cheese and tortilla chips and desserts. I know I should exercise, but for the past few days when my alarm has gone off 1.5 hours early so I can go to my apartment complex’s gym (because I think I’m even less likely to go in the evening), I end up turning it off, because that extra sleep is just way too tempting. I’m not excusing my actions–I know that’s not the right thing to do. But like I said before, knowing and doing are two entirely different things, and until I either somehow pull together the willpower or find something that can drag myself out of bed…I feel like I’m stuck.

I’m also a bit stuck because of my lack of knowledge. At this point in my life I’m on my own in the food department, without a college meal plan (although I am going back to school this fall for my masters degree). And while I’m finding that I do enjoy cooking, it’s a daunting and slightly overwhelming uphill climb. I know I should be eating more vegetables, but right now I’m limited to what I feel comfortable using, which is pretty much onions, bell peppers, lettuce, and potatoes. I got some baby eggplant and beets at the grocery today on impulse, but I have no idea how to use them, and many other veggies. How do I cook them? Do they even need cooked at all? What are they good in? And, importantly, can they be a part of a packed lunch, because at the work I’m doing this summer, and when I’m back on campus this fall, unless I want to grab some fast food I’m going to have to rely on a packed lunch that can be eaten cold, as I won’t have access to microwaves or anything like that between classes. So I usually fall back on a sandwich and Sun Chips, which I’m sure isn’t my best option, but I don’t know what else to pack.

And, like I said before, it seems like everyone has a different idea of what is healthy. Atkins, the Zone, Mediterranean style, low-fat, low-carb, no meat, no grains…it’s enough to make my head spin. For example, plain water isn’t my favorite beverage, so at meals I usually drink Coke Zero, since it has no calories. No, people say. Soft drinks are bad. So I got some fruit juices and flavored waters. Wrong again, I’m sure some people would say–too much sugar. And I’m sure others would jump all over my skim milk too. So I’ve been trying some different green teas (although those seem to have lots of sugar too), but I’m finding that I just don’t care for tea that much. So in the end, I go back to my Coke Zero. Does that make me a bad person? Should I force myself to drink only water, even though I don’t like it?

I keep telling myself that this is the time I’m going to start losing weight, but there’s so much conflicting information out there that I feel like I’m going in circles and/or banging up against a wall. That, combined with my lack of cooking knowledge and apparent lack of willpower, and I’m doomed before I even start.

And this has now gotten way too long, so I’m going to wrap this up and post it–and hope that I’m not eviscerated too severely.

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Thank you, Brit, for your comment.  I have much respect for you because you reveal that you are overweight, and although you would like to change that, your efforts are in vain.  While I have gotten plenty of comments where people feel the urge to divulge specific details about their life, yours is different.  You’re actually hoping for a discussion instead of yelling at me because you think I hate fat people.  Please, then, participate.

I hope that I am correct in thinking that you would like advice.  I realize that you are also just venting your frustrations with yourself and that it’s very difficult to do what you think that you should be doing. 

You begin with the idea that saying you need to eat right and exercise is easier than doing.  That is ABSOLUTELY true, and please recognize that it IS a difficult thing to do, but NOT impossible.  I think that if you say that to yourself, it will make your will stronger.  If you for one second believe any diet book or website that tells you that “it’s as easy as _____”, then your will becomes weaker.  The reason is because no lifestyle change that makes changes to your body is easy or fast, especially the ones that work long-term, and if you try them, you will fail. 

Making a lot of changes at once is an almost certain path to failure.  Make one small change at a time, and make sure you feel good about that change before you make another.  Start with drinking more water.  You don’t have to drink ONLY water.  Put a glass by your bed at night, and drink it as soon as you wake up in the morning.  Then maybe start with replacing one of those Coke Zero’s during one meal with water, and have the soda in between the meals instead of the chips or desserts.  Eventually, you may not miss the in-between snacks so much, and then you may not need the soda to help you curb your craving.  By then you might actually enjoy drinking clean, refreshing water.  You may be surprised that maintaining hydration improves your energy levels.  The less you feel lethargic, the less you will crave empty calories that are too salty and too sweet.

I don’t want you to think that snacking is bad, though.  A healthy snack keeps your digestive system churning between meals, and a more even flow of calories into your body throughout the day is better for your metabolism.

In terms of going to workout in the morning, why do you try and get up 1.5 hours earlier than you normally would?  That is a big chunk of time with which to change your schedule.  No wonder you are having such a hard time getting yourself out of bed to stick to that.  Why not try a smaller amount of time to workout until you get used to it?  30 minutes?  That sounds much more do-able doesn’t it?  Hit the treadmill and watch the morning news or read a book.  Keep your mp3 player charged up and make a playlist with music that will energize and motivate you.  Lay out your workout clothes before you go to bed so it will literally take you seconds to head out the door.  Less things to slow you down = less excuses.  Don’t try and go everyday at first.  Although, if you have a regular schedule, some people do better with being consistent and making it part of their daily routine.  For more on this, read my post Exercise: What’s your excuse?

So, you’re not a gourmet chef, are you?  Well, who is?  The fact that you enjoy cooking is a great start!  This is where the internet offers loads of help.  Recipezaar is my favorite recipe site.  Don’t know what to do with that baby eggplant and beets?  You can search for recipes by typing in one ingredient, and it will find all of the ones that use it.  It’s also great because you can filter your results by ratings, and read reviews by members of the site, so you don’t have to worry about whether something that sounds strange will taste horrible or not.  A great way to prepare vegetables (you can even use frozen) is to steam them using a vegetable steamer.  Sprinkle a little salt and pepper, and they’re ready in 5-10 minutes.  Easy.  Or, you could use ZipLock’s even easier method.

I believe the key is to keep it simple.  I know that there is unlimited conflicting advice out there, and PLEASE don’t ever pick up a diet book or a magazine with a weight loss tip again.  If you make it a point to absorb everything that companies that are trying to make money off the fact that people are fat throw at you, you will become obsessed with thinking about food and what you should and shouldn’t be doing all of the time, and that may cause you to eat more.  In this case, knowing less is more, in my opinion.  As your day goes along, I would recommend actually NOT thinking about it too much.

However, I will say this…  you should educate yourself on what purpose food actually serves for your body.  I know that seems silly, but if you know a few simple things about sugar, carbs, protein, and fat, you will think differently about food.  You have heard that soda’s aren’t good for you, but do you know why?  Do you know why the sugar substitute “aspartame” can be bad for those looking to lose weight?

This may not work for everyone, but this is what I did; because you are young and are still a student, let me know what you think:  Read a book about nutrition. 

You can know for yourself what things do to your body, or you can read what other people claim to know (i.e. diet fad books).  As I learned more about what high fructose corn syrup, saturated fats, excess salt and sugar, and highly processed foods actually do to the cells and hormones in my body, I looked at food differently.  Food literally tasted different.  Like you, I knew that a bag of Doritos and a soda was not good for me, because I heard other people say it.  But, I didn’t really know why.  Now, those bad foods don’t even taste as good anymore.  A big part of it is because I’ve found better foods that make me feel better, not only when I’m tasting them, but after I’ve eaten them too.

It would be hard for me to tell you the one book that will do it for you, but I will offer a list of some of the books I have read over the last few years:

• Fat Land
• Fast Food Nation
• No More Bull
• The Food Revolution
• The China Study  (currently reading…  really good!)

Over about a 2 year period, as I was reading these books, my diet changed completely.  Not because I planned on it, or obsessed about losing weight.  That just followed.  It was because I was more conscious of what I ate, and of the healthy effects that good food would bring me.

In conclusion:  Don’t obsess about it.  Just think about feeling better and living longer through delicious, healthy eating habits.

Well, I’m sure there’s more I could say, but I would like to leave anything else for my readers to discuss.  Please, all, feel free to add any advice that you think would be pertinent; whether it coincides with mine, or disagrees with it. 

Maybe some ideas on how to stay motivated?  Also, suggestions for some healthy lunches she could pack?

 

Wait… Does that make me a Fatophobe?

I’ve been meaning to write about this post I read a few days ago.

John has a great blog called TOTALTRANSFORMATION in which he chronicles his weight loss journey, as well as his musings on particular topics that interest him and that may offer inspiration along the way.

The post I’m going to talk about here is titled “Fatophile vs. Fatophobe?“

In his post, John speaks of an underground feud that is going on between those that preach fat acceptance and Health At Every Size (HAES) - “Fatophiles” - and those that encourage weight loss to those that are more than a few pounds overweight as a means of being healthier - “Fatophobes”.  The reason I say that this feud is underground is because you would not realize the immensity of it unless you spent a lot of time reading blogs and their comments.

Let’s be clear about the wording of each of the names themselves.  Each of the two groups are worded as though the OTHER group named them.  “FATophile” uses the Greek root - phil - which means a particular affinity for.  “FATophobe” uses the root - phob - which means an irrational, disabling fear of.  Both labels are, for the most part, an extreme definition of either group.  This is actually what John’s post touches on.  The idea that both sides can cause harm if taken to the extreme.

John does a great job explaining the differences as well as some of the debates between the two groups.  However, I will add a couple of my thoughts.

The fatophiles come off as bent on rationalizing unhealthy body sizes by whatever means possible, while the fatophobes appear unrealistic and intolerant of variations in body size.

This is a good point that each side most often comes off as severe and unmalleable.  It’s pretty tough when opposing groups feel so strongly about their viewpoints that they can’t have an intelligent, calm discussion about the topic at hand without getting emotional and taking things personal.  This is perhaps why, if you were to read the comments on any controversial article about body size or body image, you would find a lot of people offering details about themselves and their lives to complete strangers.  Not because it helps any argument, but because they take the comment personal, and feel as though they need to offer a back story as to why they are agreeing or dissenting. 

(You may have noticed some comments like that here…)

When I follow these debates, I am often reminded of debates about religion.  They usually end with both sides thinking they’ve won (when neither has), and both thinking the other side is more absurd in their beliefs than when they started.

The fatophiles do have some things going for them and they are worth mentioning here. First, variation in body size is often a good thing.  We definitely shouldn’t try to pigeon-hole everyone into looking like a magazine cover model.  However, as often happens with acceptance movements, the fatophiles are so accepting that they refuse to recognize that there is such a thing as an unhealthy body type.  Second, weight loss for the sake of weight loss often leads to self-destructive behavior (not to mention crackpot weight loss methods).

I absolutely agree with this.  Despite my blog, I do not think that everyone needs to look like anything close to what magazine covers depict.  I too get disgusted and chuckle to myself when I wait at the checkout and gaze at all of the shitty magazines with beautiful people staring at me, telling me I can lose 10 pounds in 10 days, or trying to show me the secret to great abs, or offering suggestions for desserts under 100 calories, or 5 easy steps to this or that.  This is actually one of the big triggers that made me decide to go ahead and create this blog.  The fact that people buy these magazines for those very things amazes me.  Why?  Because those tips are obviously not working one bit.  They only make people feel worse about themselves, inadvertently.  Yet, they still buy them.  It’s sad really. 

This is why I recognize that Fat Acceptance blogs most definitely have their place in helping those that may have destructive behavior due to a poor body image, even though I have spelled out my many issues with their blogs before, more than once.  I have said it before, and I still think that they are so accepting and so willing to say “it’s not your fault” with their HAES ideas, that ALL SIZES feel as though they are a part of this group.  I do not agree with this idea because health is NOT AT EVERY SIZE no matter how much they are in denial.  Sure, you can be lucky, but you can easily look up the slew of diseases that occur more frequently with excess weight.  The saddest part, they don’t believe it.  They think the entire medical industry is involved in some big conspiracy to make money and feed doctors false information, fueled by discrimination and a hatred of fat people.  The obesity epidemic is all made up, they say.  Amazing.

And that leads to perhaps the strongest argument in favor of the fatophiles- thinness alone isn’t enough.  All too often people want to simply “lose weight” and get thin, instead of seeking to live healthier and get fit.

Excellent point.  One argument the Fatophiles have is that there are plenty of skinny people that eat very unhealthy, yet happen to not be fat.  Of course this is true.  Well, first, this argument is turning the word “healthy” into a relative term, when within the walls of this discussion, it doesn’t need to be.  Second, if they witness non-fat people eating “unhealthy”, when do they see this?  Where do people eat food other than their home so that the fatophiles can witness it?  Restaurants.  Most people eat most of their meals at home.  Seeing a thin person at a restaurant inhaling a cheeseburger is only a tiny slice of their life.  We do not know what every one of their meals is like.  We also don’t know how many steps they take in a day, or if they eat plenty of fiber and vitamins, or if they drink plenty of water, or if they usually take the stairs rather than the elevator, or if this is their first double cheeseburger in months.  You get the idea.  They are making assumptions, and drawing attention away from the fact that they are fat.  While I very much recognize that there are plenty of skinny people that eat very poorly, I choose to not talk just about health and fitness in general, but how living an unhealthy lifestyle in addition to having excess fat is especially detrimental.

This leads to my major problem with the fatophile movement- they don’t speak about living a healthy lifestyle.  They are the body image equivalent of the 70s free love hippies.  Hippies preached a message of free love that ignored the problem of S.T.D.’s.   Similarly, the fatophiles proclaim an intoxicating message of acceptance while they not only ignore but even condemn those who would dare point out the unhealthy consequences of certain body shapes and sizes.  Their imperative is on some subjective idea of loving your body no matter its size while they remain willfully oblivious to the actual damage they might be doing to their own body by living an unhealthy lifestyle.

Very well said.  An intoxicating message of acceptance.  I have, however, actually read some mentions that a part of their message is supposed to encourage a healthy lifestyle.  BUT, like you said, because they wouldn’t dare lay out how much is too much, nor allow anyone to even suggest such a thing, their message is WAY too open to anyone and everyone that is willing to jump on the “victim” bandwagon in order to rationalize that it isn’t their obesity that is the problem, but society’s prejudice towards fat people.  Also known as, FATOPHOBES.

Unfortunately, just like the fatophiles tend to lump all overweight people - including the morbidly obese - into their movement, they also lump anyone who would question what they preach into one group as well:  Fat-hating, prejudice, discriminating fatophobes.

Admittedly, people can be very cruel toward the overweight.  While I have been called a fatophobe in the blogging world, I have never said or written anything my entire life to intentionally hurt an overweight person’s feelings.  Because of this, I actually take offense when called this.  I believe it is all about intentions, and there are plenty of hateful people out there that use names and harsh words with the intention of hurting.  While I also use names and harsh words, it is with only the best intentions.  Kind of like a football coach that is yelling at his players to kick it up a notch.  Keep in mind, that I am still honing my craft.

That some readers would like to label me or others a fatophobe will always be a side issue.  It has no bearing on the fact that having less body fat is healthier than having too much.

BOLLOCKS! A Brit wants me to take responsibility?

 

 

 

 

 

 

Over at his blog HEALTHHABITS, DR has pointed out an interesting story about a politician in the British Parliament named David Cameron who threw political correctness out the window and laid out his thoughts on the “obese, idle and poor”. 

As DR puts it well, he is 100% politically incorrect, and 100% right.

Cameron says:

We as a society have been far too sensitive. In order to avoid injury to people’s feelings, in order to avoid appearing judgemental, we have failed to say what needs to be said. We have seen a decades-long erosion of responsibility, of social virtue, of self-discipline, respect for others, deferring gratification instead of instant gratification.” 

There is a danger of becoming quite literally a de-moralised society, where nobody will tell the truth anymore about what is good and bad, right and wrong. That is why children are growing up without boundaries, thinking they can do as they please, and why no adult will intervene to stop them - including, often, their parents. If we are going to get any where near solving some of these problems, that has to stop.”

VERY - well - put.

His main idea is that while there are definitely strong external (environmental) factors that serve to influence a person’s weight or income level, he says that ultimately social problems are the result of the choices that individuals make. 

This idea falls back on PERSONAL RESPONSIBILITY.  It is VERY bold for a politician to even suggest that people are lacking in this area.  An idea that many voters would claim is an attack on their choice of lifestyle. 

God forbid that our representatives suggest something that may be in their people’s best interest!

I think people’s ego’s get in the way of tackling the root of their problems.  They find it easier to look at the external factors that are keeping them from something, instead of looking back at themselves. 

Because I have thought a lot about it, it’s easier for me to come up with endless choices that people make that would cause them to be overweight.  I’ve mentioned a lot of them before.  However, I can only speculate the many choices that make, or keep a person poor.  Perhaps some of my readers can help out with this one?  I will say that at it’s simplest, most people are born into a certain lifestyle and many decisions are made for them growing up.  So both the overweight and the poor would have to choose to take their life in a different direction if they are not happy with the way things exist. 

Obviously, as Cameron said, there will always be strong external factors at work that make change difficult.  But, as always, no ones destiny is set in stone. 

I would love, love, LOVE to see what would happen if a major politician in the U.S. said these kinds of things.  We need it to happen though.  Badly.

Check out DR’s blog entry, entitled “You’re Fat?… It’s Your Fault” to find a video of David Cameron speaking and a link to the story.

Deprivation is Next to Godliness

I’m not a religious person, so I’ve never participated in Lent.  I think the idea of it is a good one for anyone to try. 

– In case you’re not familiar, Lent is the period of 40 days before Easter when Catholics choose to give up a particular vice of theirs during that time period.  It’s supposed to represent the time Jesus spent walking through the desert and was tempted by Satan, yet didn’t give in to sin, yada yada…  Often, the “vice” that is given up is usually some kind of food item.  The ones I’ve heard most often are chocolate, or candy, or alcohol.  But, you get the point.

The reason i’m bringing up this idea, is because I’ve been thinking lately about a comment I’ve heard a few times in my life - especially since I made the decision to think more actively about my diet. 

The comment is usually in response to any argument for a diet that involves basically limiting ones diet in any way that doesn’t allow them to eat anything and everything they can get their hands on because it’s their god damn right to.  Such a diet could include limiting carbs, or limiting fats, or sugars, or cheesecake, or twinkies, or vegetarianism, or hypercarnivorism.

Why should I deprive myself of something, especially if it tastes good?”

 

When you consciously make it a point to avoid something specific, it forces you to really think about the food choices you are making.  Normally, if you are at a restaurant or at the grocery store, it becomes too easy to dismiss the actual ingredients of something and make a choice solely based on taste and idea.  

What I mean by an “idea” based choice is that you may have an idea of a meal you’d like to have based on a craving.  Say, for instance, you would love to have a cheeseburger right now, but you’ve been making a point to cut back on cheese or red meat.  Well, what is a cheeseburger but a sandwich with your favorite ingredients?  Say you like yours with onions, lettuce, tomato, guacamole, and chipotle mayo on a bun.  Well, why not have those exact ingredients with a chicken breast instead of beef?  You’ve probably cut the calories by half!  And all you’ve changed is one ingredient. 

Of course this is no longer a cheeseburger, but it’s still a pretty damn good sandwich, and you’d probably look back after eating it and be glad you made the change.  After all, the craving is gone because you’re not hungry anymore.  The only reason you probably wouldn’t enjoy your new sandwich is if the whole time you were eating it you were dwelling on the fact that it’s not a cheeseburger.  But, if you just enjoy what you are eating for what it is, this won’t bother you.  If you have a craving for a sloppy cheeseburger, and you satisfy that craving with exactly that, without really thinking about it, you haven’t really actively done anything for yourself, have you?

Now, if you’re really diligent, since you’re taking the time to change up your meal a bit to better fit your diet, why not knock out that mayo (and a lot of calories) and try it with mustard instead?  Or you can be bold and try something new like roasted red pepper hummus.  Who knows, you may like it better!  Also, while you’re at it, why not make sure that bun is whole wheat?  Or make that chicken breast grilled instead of fried. 

Heck, why not even try a veggie burger (OH GOD, NO MEAT?).

This is what I’m talking about.  One step, one idea that began with a limitation can set you in motion to thinking about all kinds of options for your lunch or dinner.  Options that you may not usually ever have thought about.  New options that open up your world of food to include things that you might enjoy even more than your old ideas. 

This can be applied to just about anything.  If it’s pizza or pasta or ice cream, there’s almost always a healthier version that can be made or found that is just as yummy.

Want pizza?  Get the thin crust with ham, mushrooms and fresh basil instead of the deep dish meat lovers with extra cheese.  You’re still eating pizza.  It’s not like you’re eating bland, boring “health food”.  You can still easily satisfy your craving with what some people would label an ‘indulgence’ without going all out.  And again, you might find some combinations of ingredients that you would have never tried before.

I could go on and on with alternatives to “sinful” choices, but this is not a diet blog.

So why not try it?  See if you can go a month, or just a couple of weeks without something.  Anything.  It will force you to come up with alternatives, and try new things.  You don’t need to have in your mind that you are limiting yourself.  It will just be an experiment with your diet.  I bet you’ll be surprised with the results.  What have you got to lose? 

Oh, wait.  I’m sure you can think of something.

My First Real Hate Mail: It’s About Time

What’s the deal?  I’ve been providing some intense “tough love” for about 4 months now, and I only now get my first real hate mail!

Oh, what a good one it is, though.  I suppose it’s made up for lost time.

Here it is, in all it’s glory, with my responses in bold.  Beware, it is EXTREMELY long.

Note all of the mis-quotes, assumptions, and psychoanalyzing.

Here we go…

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First off, let me start out with that I appreciate the fact that you’re not politically correct. Neither am I. Words don’t scare me. Some mentalities do, however. Yes, I am fat. I’m 80 lbs overweight. So, there you go!

• Right off the bat, my subtitle prophecy fulfills itself.

You have yet to put anything new on the table re: fat people. You fat-o-phobics ALL repeat the same rhetoric and sound like a broken record. You keep saying that we make excuses, look for sympathy, need your help (wtf? lol), don’t know how we got this way, and if you get mad, you’re fat too bla bla bla…..

• I’ve never said that anyone needs MY help inparticular.  I have said that I don’t understand why people that complain about their situation don’t take advantage of help and motivation that is available.  If you are fat and happy, and don’t complain, then I have absolutely NO problem with that.

I really cannot say that I apologize that we fat people are inconveniencing you and “giving you the shivers”. We aren’t pleasant to look at, are we? You need to get over this at some point in your life and move on, really.

• Why do I need to get over it?  Because fat people aren’t going away?  I would agree with that, but there is nothing for me to “get over”.  This is MY blog that I started for reasons I’ve stated clearly more than once.  If you would like to comment on any issues that I have addressed in any of my posts, then please feel free.  If you don’t like the main topic of my blog, then stop wasting your time reading it.  In other words: “Get over it”.

My guess is that you are anal-retentive and overly self-conscious about your own weight that when you see a fat person eating a twinkie, you get jealous because they don’t care as much as you do about what people think of them. I know it doesn’t make sense to get jealous, but you do. It’s human nature. You’re jealous of the freedom the fat person has as you are so afraid to gain weight because the only way you can get attention from others is by being thin. I notice this trend with a lot of fat-o-phobics. Those obsessed with being thin and good looking tend to hate fat people because they (the thin ones) want to eat whatever and whenever they want too! And it pisses you people off because you depend so heavily on what others think of you - on a clinical level more than the average person! I mean, who else but an insecure person, would devote an entire blog to bashing fat people? Think about it. You are more transparent than you think.

• You gotta love the constant need to psychoanalyze those you don’t understand.  Well, i’m sorry but you are wrong on all accounts.  I don’t obsess about being thin at all.  I simply strive to be fit and healthy, and I don’t understand why everyone doesn’t do the same.  I want to live to be 110 and feel great and have energy until the day I die. 
• You believe that because I am so scared to be fat, that I am jealous that fat people can eat anything they want?  The truth is, I do eat everything I want.  I just don’t WANT to eat junk food!  There was a time when I ate it more than I do now, but then I realized how bad it was for me.  After that point, it didn’t even sound, look, or taste good to me anymore.  I admit to eating unhealthy at times, but I usually regret it.  It’s an odd thing that once you no longer eat mostly crap, when you do you can really feel it’s affect on how you feel.  It makes you realize that when you feel like that all the time, you don’t know the difference.  It’s a feeling of malaise that I think most people experience constantly, without realizing it.
• Why would I be jealous of the “freedom” a fat person has?  This is an obvious place where you and I view life differently.  I don’t see fat people as free.  I see them as having more occurrences of chronic pains and illnesses.  I see them as being shackled by their fat.

I guess to some extent we all have this syndrome where we cannot understand why others are different from us. I cannot understand why people tattoo and pierce their bodies. But I figure - that’s them and to each their own - even though they’re not easy for me to look at. Assholes are hard to look at too. But I’d rather be fat than an asshole. That’s just me, though.

I see part of your mission is to get them to lose weight? Are you doing this because you SINCERELY care about their well-beings? Or… are you doing this so that when you leave your house, you don’t have to worry any longer about seeing so many fat people in “your world”? Do you realize that a lot of fat people stay indoors because of dicks like you?

Newsflash: It’s NOT your world. It’s ours. Celebrate the differences!

• Are you asking me to celebrate that people are fat?  You are over-simplifying fat people as simply having an appearance that is different than other people.  It is much more complex than that, and I use this blog as a way to discuss those complexities.  If you are implying that being fat or skinny is the same as being black or white, then read my post: FAT is the new Black! 
• I do realize that fat people stay indoors because of dicks like me.  For some of those people, maybe that is why they are fat.  I know it’s the “chicken or the egg” with that one, but what possibly started first in those cases was a mild depression that translated into a general social anxiety that caused them to go outside less, get less exercise, eat more comfort food, get more depressed because they are fat, then blame others because they think everyone is staring at them and causing their depression.  Aw shucks… there I go analyzing other people.     

I seriously doubt you give a shit about a stranger’s health. Why would a stranger be concerned about someone’s health or happiness? I don’t like dildos like you wandering about and staring at us all the time. And if I could rid people of your rank off the planet, I would. We all know that if you could get away with it, you would shoot fat people one by one. We can all admit to that. I’d shoot you too - just because you’re an intolerant douche.

• Why would a stranger be concerned about someone’s health or happiness?  Have you ever heard of doctors, nutritionists, personal trainers, physical trainers, psychologists, psychiatrists, counselors, scientists, teachers, childcare workers, social workers, peace corp workers, after school mentors, big brothers big sisters, human/civil rights workers, volunteers, foster care providers, adopters, Angelina Jolie?
• Choosing to write about the issues that I have with certain fellow human beings is one thing…  erupting in violence and shooting people is another.  That statement was absolutely absurd.  With my blog, I am not targeting any one person specifically.  WordPress has allowed me to write my thoughts and let other people read them.  By specifically writing me an email and calling me names, you are the one being an intolerant douche.  Do you scour the internet and spend hours writing to websites you don’t agree with that they should shut up and stop what they are doing?

You say fat people can (and you underline) “always” do something about their problem. I do understand that you are talking about the “over-eaters”. Ok. Fine. But why would you care about someone’s eating habits? I guess I’m trying to understand why you hate fat people so much - so much to dedicate an entire blog about them?

• I have NEVER said I hate fat people.  To answer why I care about other peoples habits enough to dedicate an entire blog about them, read my Fat Mission page, rinse, and repeat, until you get it. 

I hate to break the news to you, but it’s way more than 10% that cannot control their “fat destination”. I am one of them. I have Cushings Disease. Like Thyroid Disease, it’s supposed to be about “10 % or less” of the population that gets this. That’s incorrect. It’s 10% or less of the population that DOESN’T GO MISDIAGNOSED. This is the same with any glandular disease (hereditary or not). You of all people know that with being fat, there is a stigma (a negative one, of course). Well, guess what? Most doctors out there think like you. With that said, it takes between 5-25 years to get diagnosed for Cushings Disease and some people die before their even diagnosed! Most doctors just tell all fat patients to diet and exercise and quickly dismiss them. THAT IS WHY SO FEW ARE PROPERLY DIAGNOSED, YOU NUMSKULL! To be fair, I should be about 20-30 lbs overweight because I don’t always eat right, but the 80 lbs I am overweight (or FAT) is due to excess hormone cortisol that is being secreted in my body. 

• I am sorry that you have Cushings Disease.  I am totally open to the idea that glandular diseases often go misdiagnosed.  However, I am not open to the idea that those diseases that are genetic in origin have increased over 300% in the past 40 years, because that is how much obesity rates have increased.  Even more so for children in particular.  I am also open to the idea that a large change in lifestyle of humans in recent decades may influence whether we are more susceptible to these diseases.  More specifically, modern medicine’s use of steroid hormones to treat many problems, which happens to be the number one reason of why a person’s cortisol levels can be produced in excess, causing Cushings like symptoms, including weight gain.  
• By you making this point, and by your logic, you are saying that before the “obesity epidemic”, most glandular diseases such as Cushings were PROPERLY diagnosed and successfully treated at all points in history until recently, when suddenly doctors began to misdiagnose these diseases and allow their victims to suffer the consequences, including getting fat. 
• That is of course false.  I am not saying that the rates of these disease may not be increasing.  That is very possible.  But rather than believe that there is a big change happening in our DNA that would leave us hopelessly more susceptible to disease, I would first attempt to look at all environmental and lifestyle factors.

So, no, there’s a MUCH higher percentage of fat people out there that surpass the “rare 10%” you claim to be out of their control. Unless, you medically and psychologically examine every fat person you encounter, how the heck would you know their story? No. Just because you see a fat lady eating two big macs? Do you know WHY she’s doing it? Do you know why people are addicted to alcohol, cigarettes, drugs, sex, criminal acts, etc….? Yes, there’s a reason for all this. These are choices, yet people don’t know why they make these choices!! Do you know why you’re an asshole? Probably not.

• That was a wonderful collection of nonsensical questions.  You’re right, though.  Unless every fat person is examined, we don’t know their story.  But that statement serves both sides of this argument.  That statement is how I argue that it is ridiculous that every other fat person will tell you the reason they are fat is because of their genes, or their thyroid.  How would they know this?  They don’t know, because very few that claim that as the cause of their condition have actually been to an endocrinologist to address their specific problem.  So where do they pull that theory from?  Their ASS!  If your theory that most fat people go misdiagnosed for various glandular conditions is true, that is still not a good reason to blindly claim that as the root of ones problem. 

Where do you get or imply that fat people are happy? After reading this, how could you think their life is “so easy”? Do they want sympathy for this? Fuck no!! Asking assholes to STFU is not the same thing as asking for sympathy. I know you won’t STFU but just because we fat people don’t like being shit on, again, doesn’t mean we want you to pay any homage to us. What part of that don’t you understand?

• I don’t understand that whole paragraph, actually.  When did I say they are happy?  Or that their life is “so easy”?  You might be getting the recent “fat-o-phob” blogs you’ve read confused…  and then decided to take it all out on me.

Some people are nervous eaters or eat their problems away. Boo hoo, right? Well, guess what? While that IS a choice, so are the many other things people do to cope with stress. Any act-out is self-destructive. That’s the way some fat people get through life. And many of them don’t give a shit if they die. Yes. That’s a fact. Why on earth you confuse these people with being happy is beyond me and more confusing than your confusion with them. The reason fat people make you confused is because you believe in over simplified and one-dimensional chiches as an answer to all your questions rather than facts! There’s a link between depression and over-eating. Some fattening foods contain chemicals that help a person’s brain secrete serotonin that aid those who are depressed. Fat people don’t know why their attracted to fatty foods, of course, but that’s the reason why. More on this can be found here:

http://virgomonkey.wordpress.com/2008/04/18/obesity-in-america/

• You like that word “fact” don’t you?  The problem is, my blog is not over-simplified and one dimensional, you are just reading it as such.  You seem to not be able to get past the “fact” that I choose to write about this topic, so everything you’ve read on my blog is filtered through your mind as pure “fat-o-phobic”, and you are ignoring the numerous topics I have tried to cover in my exploration as to why so many fat people complain about their situation, claim they can do nothing about it, and yet haven’t even tried anything.  I mean REALLY tried. 
• But, you’re right.  One reason is because some of them have self-destructive tendencies, and deal with stress by eating junk.  Why are you arguing that with me?  That is a case where becoming fat is a result of a behavioral problem, which if they don’t like being fat, they should look into the causes, and attempt to rectify them.

You are simply ignorant about an issue you declare yourself to be an “expert” on. You find “facts” to be synonymous “making excuses”. So, long as you think that facts = excuses, surely you will never understand a fat person. Should you pay more attention to facts both medical and psychological, this would be inconvenient for you as you WANT to hate fat people. That’s YOUR unique way of coping with stress in your life. We know you are no more happy than we are. Knowing the facts would take that pleasure away from you and you’d no longer have a scapegoat for your problems.
Some people say it’s genetic to hate fat people. So, there’s one for you!

• Haha…  When did I declare myself an “expert”?  If I implied that, then I was joking, and you have no sense of humor.  Just so you know, using “quotes” like you just did implies that I said or wrote that word specifically.  I’m pretty sure I have never written that word referring to myself.  If I was an “expert” on this subject, I would not have a shitty blog.  I would be publishing books and articles, and speaking at shitty conferences.
• Facts Facts Facts Facts Facts Facts Facts Facts Facts Facts Facts Facts Facts Facts Facts Facts Facts Facts Facts Facts Facts Facts Facts Facts Facts Facts Facts Facts Facts Facts Facts Facts Facts Facts Facts Facts.  In your face!
• So…  I don’t know “the facts”?  But you do?  I find it hard to believe that you would take the time to write this very long email to me, talk at length about various things, and then when it comes to accusing me of not knowing “the facts”, that is exactly the only way you refer to them as:  “the facts”.  Why not elaborate for me, what “facts” that I am choosing to ignore because I “hate fat people”.  This seems to be the point in your email where if you KNEW “the facts” that could throw me under the bridge, you would most certainly spell them out for me.  But you don’t.  I wonder why.

How do people “choose” to be fat, anyway? Do people just wake up in the morning and say, “Gee… today I am going to be fat… and yeah!”. Are you out of your mind? Why don’t you leave it to US FATTIES to tell you what it’s like.

• Umm, no.  I don’t think they consciously say to themselves “I want to be fat”.  That’s retarded.  But the ones that got fat by eating horribly and living a sedentary lifestyle, have chosen to live that way.  They wake up and choose to have biscuits, gravy, and bacon.  They choose to take the elevator rather than the stairs up one floor.  They choose to watch 30+ hours of TV a week.  These are all things I’ve covered before.

“It was the junk food”…says the fattest Mexican. Yeah. No kidding? But why do people pack themselves up with junk food? Until you know this, you should stop pretending you do.

• The most simple reason:  It tastes good, and it is quite cheap if you consider cost vs. calories.  Of course there are more reasons, but that one is the most basic and obvious one.
• What am I pretending to know? 

There are cases where fat people make a turn around and find healthier ways to deal with stress and lose a lot of weight. But guess what? They do it when they want to - if they want to - when they’re ready. Not because some turd with a blog says it’s “bad” and makes them “shiver”. 

• Well, that’s fantastic!  And I’m sure that there are many different reasons why people manage to find the inspiration they need to make a positive change.  MANY different reasons because there are MANY different types of people.  It seems that you are simplifying this point, and are speaking on behalf of all fat people, of which I do not believe you are a good representative.

You know, life isn’t easy. And I think it’s fair for me to make the assumption that yours is not easy either. (Truly happy people are non-judgmental) With that said, we have to deal with in life that not everyone is going to please our senses (both intellectually and physically). We are all stuck on this planet together, and at some point in time, you’re going to have to learn to deal with the ugly people you are forced to walk with on the streets as we’re forced to have to listen to your rhetoric out in the great wide open as well. Just like fatties must deal or find healthier ways to cope with their problems, so do you. Telling fat people that (whether directly or not) that they are less than human and shouldn’t exist in your world is far worse than being morbidly obese. Yes, this is what your blog says! 

• No. You are wrong.  I have NEVER EVER said that “they are less than human and shouldn’t exist”.  As I started out this post with, I offer “tough love”.  While I am harsh and somewhat demeaning, my purpose remains to offer motivation for some people.  Mind you, this is most likely a very narrow slice of the population that would react positively to my - on the surface - negative blog.  If they, and you, react purely negatively to my blog, then goodbye.  Take your frustrations out on a cheesecake.  Not me.

My brother died from being too fat (re: heart problems). I never really saw him “happy” growing up. And he never asked for help… not even once. He did life all by himself without you “holding his hand”. And I never really got too upset about his death. Why? Because (no, I don’t believe in God) I know that whatever state of mind or lack of mind he is in now - is much better than his having been alive! So, in a way I feel that he hit the jackpot! I am happy for him.

• I am sorry you lost your brother.  If his life was less than pleasant, then I understand why you would say that you are happy for him that it is over.  Look:  My blog is here for those who need a kick in the pants.  If you don’t believe someone like him would have benefited from this type of in your face writing, then again, I’m not forcing anyone to read my blog.  They can look elsewhere.

If facts don’t scare you, read through all these articles and please challenge them one by one:

http://del.icio.us/ticklebug/cushings (It’s more than two pages of research).

• That’s a bunch of info about Cushings.  So?  We already talked about that.  Why are you bringing it up again?  Do you think that all or most fat people have Cushings disease/syndrome?  I’m sure you don’t, so why would I need to challenge the articles?  Cushings does often cause abnormal weight gain.  What is there to argue with?  When I speak about severely overweight people having poor diets, I am purely talking about that.  If someone happens to have a disease of which a side affect is weight gain, and they have superb diets, then I am not talking about them.  However, if they have the disease and have extremely poor diets, I am sure that their quality of life living with it would be much better if they ate foods that better nurtured their bodies.

And I have no idea where the hell you get that people sympathize with fat people? *yawn* - another tired cliche… Are we living in the same world? Sir, you are sorely confusing sympathy with acceptance. Acceptance meaning you are OK sharing the planet with those different from YOU. It’s starts there and ends there. Just because you don’t see fat people getting stoned in the streets, doesn’t mean that people are “sympathizing” with them. Sure, maybe there exists sympathy toward some. But to debunk the myths that you believe in hon, we fatties don’t ask for or look for sympathy!

• The only time I said that fat people are wanting sympathy is when they utter the statement “I have tried everything” when referring to their attempts at losing weight.  I’m not going to explain that one again, but you can read it again.  Also, again, you are speaking of “acceptance” in a way that suggests that the differences between obese people and fit people are as simple - quite literally - as black and white.  You seem to be the one over-simplifying things.

You are telling people in your blog that you won’t hold their hands and bla bla walk them through life bla bla . Um… hold hands for WHAT exactly? lol —- seriously —- where do you get this crap from? WE DON’T FUCKING NEED YOU (let alone a stranger who pretends to be a doctor), YOUR SYMPATHY, YOU CODDLING OR WHATEVER THE FUCK. Here’s what we need. Accept and deal with us on your turf because it’s ours too. That’s it.

• By saying I’m not going to “hold your hand and walk you through your fat life”, what I mean is this:  There are so many instances in modern society where people are asked to unreasonably accommodate certain members of that society, even if it benefits no one, especially those that ask for it, because in the long run they will not have benefited from anything.
• Just like the “No Child Left Behind” act in the U.S., one way that schools try to make sure that everyone passes the tests, is by lowering the passing grade.  WHO THE HELL does that benefit?  
• Obesity rates are skyrocketing among children, and so are their rates of type 2 diabetes, hypertension, ADD, asthma, and sleep apnea.  Yet, our government does very little to help this problem.  They actually make it worse by forcing schools to close their physical activity programs in leu of achieving a certain performance level on tests, as well as not providing enough funding for schools to provide a healthier alternative to the processed/fried foods they serve in the cafeterias.
• You may not feel as though you want anyone to feel sorry for you, or to accommodate you, but there are plenty of fat people that do.  Have you never heard of people suing restaurants or movie theatres or airlines because they didn’t have chairs that were wide enough for their rotund backsides?  Those people are asking these huge companies to spend a lot of money to accommodate them.  While the number of people that require a seat that is twice as wide as your average seat is rising, I do not believe that is a good reason for these businesses to make such drastic changes.
• So, I pretend to be a doctor?  Damn, you caught me.  All those times I signed my blogs with “McBloggenstein M.D.” were just a lie.   

And despite popular belief, we don’t NEED someone else’s “words of wisdom” from a blog to know that we have a problem. WE’RE FAT BUT WE’RE NOT STUPID. Again, somehow you think this land is yours. No. It’s ours. Deal.
In fact, nobody knows why I am fat. The only people that know I have Cushings is my immediate family and closest friends!! I um don’t walk up to people in the street and ask them to cry me a river boo hoo. Hon, we take care just fine without you. Sympathy, attention, insults, or whatever…….. none of that erm…. makes us thin. We (if we’ve made a conscious decision to get fat) make those decisions (when and how) for ourselves on our dime - on our time.

• I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but you and I both live in a world that is obsessed with image.  If you don’t believe that, then you are in denial.  Sympathy, attention, insults, whatever:  those are all things that can result from the way people view each other.  And guess what?  They can cause people to have a poor self image of themselves, and they will probably either gain weight, or lose weight.  A little fluctuation is just fine, but ballooning up a couple hundred pounds, or becoming anorexic, are both not fine.  I am aware that insults and ridicule can serve to lower a persons self image, but I am attempting to do it in a way that offers an insightful way to look at the problem, along with some humor.  A-g-a-i-n, I’m not forcing anyone to read my blog.  If it’s not your cup of tea, have a nice day.

So, yes, you are bigoted because people don’t “choose” to be fat for a living. But again, I can see why you think that way. It’s a lot easier and it allows you to keep on hating. Busting your myths only crushes your world. The world that allows you to get out all that’s bottled up inside you. It allows you to continue to hold on to YOUR OWN HABIT.
Anyway, fat people are taking over the planet, pal. Get over it and quit your bitching. It’s intolerant assholes in society like you that cause people to do all sorts of crazy shit. And your blog is part of the crazy shit people do when they’ve been dealt a bad hand in life. Just because your problems aren’t visible to the human eye, doesn’t mean they cannot be seen through your writing and behavior. And before you cry that fatties are the only ones “making excuses” or “playing the blame game”, so are you! You are no different from those with substance/food abuse problems. You are addicted to being a hateful jerkoff.  

• Although this last psychoanalyzation is incorrect, it is very well said!  A good conclusion to your dissertation.
• What “myths” of mine have been busted?  What “myths” did you bust with this email?  Because you said oh so specific statements like I ignore “the facts”, does that mean you’ve won an argument?
• Why do you hate science?  (just kidding…  inside joke)
• You may be right, fat people are taking over the planet.  That’s what scares me.  If being intolerant means that I don’t want to allow my world to be overcome by overstuffed sedentary sloths, then hell yes I’m intolerant.  If it means that I will never be accepting of someone just because they are different than me, then no, I am not intolerant. 
• I am very different from the intolerant assholes that decide they need to lynch those that are different than them.  I choose to write about a specific type of people with an open mind, and I am open to discussion.  An intolerant asshole would forgo any intelligent conversation, and immediately judge and prosecute.   
• I have never said that fat people are the only ones “making excuses”.  There are plenty of other types of people out there that have issues and don’t take responsibility.  I’m sure there are other blogs out there that talk about them.  Go find them and email them.

————————————

Exhausted…

 

need

 

bacon.

 

To my readers:  Just because I spent way too much time responding to this person’s email pointing out all of the fallacies in her argument, doesn’t mean you shouldn’t write me if you have an issue or a question.  But if you make a horrible argument and call me a bunch of names, I can’t promise I won’t ridicule you for all the world to see.

P.S.  Does anyone know where I can find a “Hateful Jerk-offs Anonymous” meeting?